


In This Life

by TWDObsessive



Category: The Walking Dead (TV), The Walking Dead - All Media Types
Genre: Awkward Daryl, Confident Rick, Fluff, Implied rape in chapter 14, Inspired by The Walking Dead, M/M, Passion, Relationship(s), Rickyl, Slow Build, Virgin Daryl, love is different in the apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-17
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-03-18 07:45:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 27,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3561806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TWDObsessive/pseuds/TWDObsessive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daryl struggles to acclimate to Alexandria.  As  Rick tries to help, their relationship starts to take a new turn...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fan fic and I may come back in to make edits. Lots more to come here in additional chapters.

In this life...

He should be happy about these walls, but Daryl has been pacing like a caged animal since they arrived. It's keeping the dead out, but it's keeping him in. 

Granted he hasn't been put on a barbecue or tortured like some of the other communities they've come across. 

Place seems to have structure. Their folks have real jobs. 'cept Daryl. He ain't got one yet. They probably don't know what to do with him. A feral cat. Still hasn't taken a shower. Flopping down on a recliner in Deanna's mansion still covered in mud and dirt. Probably some piss from one of lil asskicker's diapers. Guts from his last kill- a possum right before they came through the gates. He didn't care. Just plopped right down. 

Even kicked some of the mud off his boot using the edge of the chair. Shit, chair probably cost more than Daryl's entire house growing up. He didn't belong here. With structure comes groups, class, desirables and undesirables. And Daryl knew he was undesirable. Always was, always has been. Dead getting up to stumble around ain't gonna change that.

The most comfortable he's been since arriving in this unfamiliar place in Alexandrea was sleeping in the living room with the 12 others from his extended family despite the fact that they had two four-bedroom homes between them. 

Last night ,as usual, he was right against rick on one side. On that night he had Michonne on his other side. Carl at his feet, occasionally mistaking his calves as a pillow. He felt secure in the huddle of family. Rick's shoulders against his own. The sound of Michonne's light snoring. But he was intimidated by the home. Christ he was in a nicer home right here during the end of the world than he'd ever had before the turn.

Next day things got worse. Rick came back to the house in a new cop outfit. 

"Sorry officer, d'you get a call a stranger was lurking in the house?" Daryl muttered attempting to keep it light but truly seething underneath. This gonna put things the way they were before? he wondered. Before he and Rick had gotten so close. Became brothers. Family?

"Nah I got a call about a bad smell. Neighbors thought someone mighta died in here, but I see your just fine."

"When it become a crime to have a little deer shit on yer shoe?"

"Jesus, Daryl. You got more than deer shit going on. You look like the inside of a dumpster and we have to try here. This might be something. We have to try." 

Rick reached out to put a hand on the archer's shoulder only to have Daryl pull away. He hadn't pulled away from Rick's touch like that in almost two years. Not since they came to trust in each other, trust each other with their lives. 

Rick's face fell. He knew Daryl was uncomfortable in this house. He watched him pace, chewing on his thumb. Looking Rick up and down almost disgusted with this new turn of events and his shiny new badge.

Rick bent down and grabbed the crossbow. Tossed it to Daryl, who reflexively caught it. 

"Let's go outside the gates awhile. See if there's maybe any deer, 'nother possum around or somehing, ok?"

Daryl followed Rick out the front door. Just like Rick knew he would.

Outside the gates, Daryl started breathing easier and Rick could tell. 

"Feel stuck in there?" Rick said as they fell into a perimeter walk of the walls without even discussing it. 

"yah"

"Good place for Judith."

"yah"

Judith was a soft spot with Daryl and Rick knew it. Rick always knew what he was doing and saying. Something Daryl always admired in him... that strong confidence. Daryl had none of that. 

"I saw the tape." Rick said stopping to push on a section of wall, testing it's stability. 

"so"

"So, I saw ya telling Deanna that you weren't nothing and ya ain't nothing now. Why you do that?"

"Christ, Rick. Cause it's true. Don't gotta be no rocket scientist to know I'm trash. Don't even gotta be a fake scientist like Eugene. It's written all over me."

Rick stopped walking. Glanced around the wooded area. Quietly listened for the sound of walkers. He turned to Daryl. Looked him directly in the eyes with his piercing stare.

"You aren't nothing. Your not a useless redneck. You are a determined, compassionate hero. You are a survivorlist. You've saved lives, mine among them. You are loyal, honest and you are mine. 

"the' fuck? I ain't yours"

"Don't know why I said that." Rick backtracked. "Not what I meant. We have each other is what I mean."

"Daryl- I need you to know where you stand. This place. It isn't everything. Family is everything. You, Carl, Judith, Glenn, all the rest... that's what matters. Do NOT let this place make you feel like less than you are." Rick kept his gaze. Daryl looked down kicking at the dirt.

"Try for us, will you, brother?" Rick asked quietly

"ya. sfine" Daryl submitted.

Rick pulls him up into a brotherly embrace. Pats him hard on the back. The hug lingers longer than it should and neither man pulls away. Both becoming slightly confused but neither lets go. It seems friendly for a while. Then maybe fatherly. Then complicated. 

To break the tension rick says "You smell REAL bad Dixon. You know we have showers now." He rubs his head and Daryl playfully cusses him.

At the house Daryl showers. Rick is there standing by the door. That was unspoken and habit. When they were wondering for so long, no one showered or bathed or took as much as a dip in a creek bed without someone standing by on guard. No one wanted to literally get caught with their pants down. Probably nothing to worry about here in Alexandria. But old habits were hard to break. 

There was no chatter. The men spend a lot of time together wordlessly. Never awkward. Just quiet and together. 

When Daryl stepped out of the shower he's already toweled off and reached for set of clothes Rick had scraped together for him. Rick walked up to him once he was dressed, pushed his wet hair out of his eyes. 

"There. Wasn't that bad was it? You barely smell like shit anymore." Rick grinned.

"I'm goin' out. Look around the perimeter again. Saw some tracks when we's out there before. Don't care how many cans of green beans are in the cupboards here. That shit don't last forever."

Rick grinned. Felt good about their talk. Felt great to see Daryl cleaned up and a little less moody.

Weren't really any tracks tho. He just wanted to be alone with his thoughts. Rick knew it.

He came out about half an hour later still in his new blue uniform. Daryl was sitting against the wall again. Crossbow down at his side. Rick leans back against the wall and slides down next to Daryl. They sit shoulder to shoulder and leg to leg against the wall.

Ten unspoken minutes pass. Their shared silences never awkward. Still not even in the damn cop outfit.

"So ya tapping that blone yet?" Daryl asks with a grin. 

"Fuck you. She's married and she ain't my type."

"A hot blond, with a nice body, batting her eyelashes at you for the past two days ain't yer type? It's the apocalypse Rick, ya can't be 's damn picky."

"Tha's just it. I'm never gonna feel closer to anyone than I do with you and Maggie, Carol, - the whole family we got. Not in this world."

Rick continued when Daryl just grunted in response. "Don't want to be naked with someone I don't trust. Don't want to be vulnerable with someone I don't trust. Don't want to love someone I don't trust. Can't. Can't anymore. Love idn't like that no more." 

Another minute passed in silence before he continued "Hell, only person I've slept alone in a bed with has been you or Carl since the prison."

Daryl laughs quietly. "You think that's bad? Christ yer the only person I ever slept in a bed with. Since ever" Daryl looks down and shakes his head.

"WHAT?" Rick says way louder than he realized.

"Fuck you, man" Daryl says and pushes into his shoulder to knock the cop over a bit. 

"Are you trying to tell me that Daryl Dixon is a goddamn virgin?" Rick asked exasperated?

"Fuck you, alright?"

"How is that even possible?"

"Don't know if you noticed, but I ain't a great catch. And no one would want to see all these scars anyway. Look at me like a goddamn victim. Wouldn't want to see the look in their eyes. Fuck 'em. 'sides, I never met one I trusted."

"Well, Christ- I thought you'd at least 'a tapped Carol once or twice at the prison."

"Naw... she's like a mom, man. We don't have that kind a thing going. Ain't nothing to that."

Daryl stands up and reaches a hand to help Rick to his feet. 

"Think I'm gonna sleep up in that completely useless guard tower t'night. Can't believe these idiots have that and put no one on patrol. Wanna get up there see how far out we can see. Kinda just want to be under the starts tonight. House is making me claustrophobic."

"al'right" Rick says.

Sitting in the tower that night Daryl did look up at the stars. Wondered about all the things come to pass. Spent a whole life bein' told how worthless he was. Believin it. And then the world turns to hell, and he's got a better life now than he ever had. He got family. 

Just as he thought it, Rick popped his head up into the tower and climbed in. He was barefoot and in a Tshirt and some jeans. Torn but not dirty. 

"What?" Daryl said, expecting news of some kind.

"Nuthin. Just wanted to see the stars too."

Daryl scootches over to make room. Even tho it's hot they sit tight, close like they'd become accustomed too during the winter .

Rick notices Daryl's burned hand. "What are you doing, man?" He asks grabbing it and inspecting. At least two recent purposeful cigarette burns.

Daryl pulls it away and chews his thumb nail.

"Wish you wouldn't do that." Rick said. "Punishing yourself for shit idn't your fault"

Daryl leans more lanquidly against Rick. "Why you care so much 'bout shit like that?"

After a few quiet minutes, Rick sighed heavy. "This world things are different. You're not attracted to what you used to be. Nice rack, good cook, Y'know like that blond here in town. Balance. Y'know that whole "opposites attract thing". Ain't what it's about any more."

Rick continued "Now your attracted to who you can trust, who can protect you, not only who can take care of your kids, but who can protect them, kill and die for them. Who can keep 'em fed when there's no food. Not someone who will make you pancakes on Sunday mornings. A tight ass and high heals aren't attractive in this world. Muscle is, strength , loyalty, complete loyalty, determination. And total trust. 

"What the hell are you babbling about?" Daryl asks

Rick smiles. Let's another minute pass.

"Where's Carl?" Rick asks

"Was down at that house on the corner showin' off comic books to some a th'other kids his age. Saw him go over with a stack of 'em. Come back to the house a little before dark like' he's told. Probably begging Michonne to help him practice with her sword."

"He's not a kid any more" Rick shook his head smiling.

"No - he ain't" Daryl agreed.

"He told me he got a buck with you back at the prison"

"Yah."

"Y'taught him to shoot, to provide."

"Snothin' he was already a damn good shot to start."

"Ya fed lil asskicker when I was loosing my mind at the prison. Sang to 'er."

Daryl smiled "I don't know 'f anyone'd call it singing but her. Helped her fall asleep tho."

"See what I mean?"

Perplexed again, Daryl looked at his brother and best friend. "Rick, what the fuck r you taking about?"

"Christ Daryl- Lori couldn't even get Carl to stay in the goddamn house. You taught him to survive, to pitch in at camp without complaining. Christ knows how many a Judy's diapers ya changed.... One handed with crossbow on more n one occasion. I'm saying you take better care a my kids than their mother ever could." 

"Kinda all of our kids now. Glenn, Maggie, Michone, all 'a ours y'know..."

"Love ya for it, that's all." Rick said quietly.

"Mmm hmm. You know you the best family I ever had. Ain't never gonna do nothin to lose or jeopardize that"

"Just saying. Love is different now. I'd rather be sitting here shoulder to shoulder with you than getting tail from any Hollywood starlet."

"That's good," Daryl said "Think the world's out of Hollywood starlets anyway"

"What about you, Daryl?"

"What about me?" 

Rick says nothing. Knows Daryl just needs time to talk.

"I'm not a very good conversationalist, rick."

"I didn't list conversationalist as one of my needs. Don't need it when you have someone that can look right in your eyes and know what you need."

Daryl meets Rick's eyes. Blue. Confident. Little crinkles starting to grow in the corners. Daryl like's those crinkles.

Daryl looks away, leans down a little, squirms closer to Rick and chews his thumb.

"I don't know what I'm sposed to say right now."

"Don't need ta say anything. Just came up ta sit with ya. Look at the stars."

 

Two days later. Daryl was surprised nothing got awkward. No more had been said, but there were more shoulder squeezes (held longer) and pats on the back between them throughout the course of the day. 

The archer has kept busy working on the motorcycle in Aaron's garage. He hadn't told rick yet about Aaron's proposal... To replace Eric as the tracking team to search for suitable survivors to grow the community. 

As Daryl was ready to knock on their door to get to work it opened before he could even reach it. Aaron was heading to Deanna's. Eric held the door for him and they kissed sweetly and Aaron walked away.

"Looked in there last night, Daryl" Aaron said as he walked down the porch steps. "Looks like you'll have 'er running soon." 

"Yah" Daryl said and flicked the hair out of his eye.

"We'll common in sweetheart, I'm not sending out written invitations today." Eric chirped

"You wanna cup a coffee for you go on in there clanking around all day?"

"Yah, sure" Dayrl grunted

"Y'know- muttering has always been my favorite accent." Eric said as he walked as gracefully as he could on his crutches to the kitchen.

Daryl's thoughts were still back at the door at that easy casual kiss they shared. How they do that, he wondered.

"Here ya go" Eric handed him a mug with Viva Las Vegas on the side. 

"How you guys do that, man?" Daryl asked

"Do what hon?"

Daryl nodded with his mug over at the door.

"Ohhh the kissing, should I prepare myself for some homophobia or are you the type's gonna tell me I'm going to hell?" Quietly and behind his hand in feigned whisper Eric adds, "cause honey I think hell might already be here."

"Na man- I don't give a fuck whatcha do. I just wann know how. How the first time you kissed him you knew he'd kiss back and not cave your skull in?"

Eric remained still for a moment and a smile rose to his lips. He took a chair at the kitchen table. Daryl sat down too. 

"You got someone in mind that needs kissing?"

"I'm just fucking asking a goddamn question." Daryl couldn't believe how much talking people seemed to do around this place. Always with words, words, questions. Hell, his people once went two weeks without the need to say barely five words to eachother. Read eachother. That was all they needed to do.

Eric sat back unshaken by the outburst.

"Eye contact. Body language. Listen for the right words and signals. Is your man Rick? The leader...the sherif?

Daryl just sat in his chair abandoning coffee for chewing his thumb nail. He said nothing.

"Look him in the eye. Don't break eye contact. Put yourself in his personal space casually and measure his response. You want my opinion? I watched you out in the woods. There's something there. You won't be taking a risk, sugar. You'll be making something happen outa what's already there. You deserve to be happy. Do it."

"How do you know what I deserve?"

"Seen ya in the woods Daryl. We watched you for weeks. Seen the scars on your back. Old scars. Childhood scars. I got 'em too. Not man enough for my old man." Eric pulled down at the back of his robe to show some familiar marks that Daryl was sure were similar to his.

Chapter two coming soon...


	2. A Hunter's Instinct

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl's might not understand what he's feeling. But he knows what he wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been dying to get this scene on paper!

If Merle knew that Daryl spent an hour and a half having coffee with a faggot talking about child abuse and kissing guys he'd have lost his shit. Woulda given Daryl one hell of 'a whoopin' fer sure.

But thing about this world is Merle ain't here. Neithers pa. In the old world he'd a been humiliated about his thoughts. This world, when Daryl could keep the past at bay, he wasn't ashamed a nuthin. 

He was glad Eric's advice didn't involve talking. Christ he was no good at talking. Or feelings. Really couldn't make sense of these feelings. 

But he had good instincts. And his instinct was to be by Rick's side. Period. To be as close as he could. And recently sitting shoulder to shoulder and leg to leg... That wasn't nearly close enough. 

After a long day of trying to turn miscellaneous parts and pieces into a working bike, Daryl found he actually WANTED a shower. As he walked into their shared home, the first thing he noticed was the silence. Where was everyone. He went into survival mode. Had his hand on the blade he kept on his belt and walked into the kitchen. No one. Then he heard someone tearing down the stairs without a care and he turned to see Maggie.

"You gonna stab me?" Maggie smiled noticing his hand on his weapon.

"Quiet here. Where's everyone?"

"Rick finally decided it was safe enough to use both houses and use the bedrooms."

"Is that right?" Daryl said slightly put off that he wasn't included in a decision like that. Daryl couldn't think of a way to phrase his question- where to I belong?

Maggie was filling up a glass with water and shook her head smiling "oh- sorry- your here in this one with us. Crossbows up in the room by the bath."

Daryl muttered acknowledgement. His real question was who's us? where was Rick staying? But he sur as hell wasn't gonna ask Maggie that. She already seems to be picking up on something. Way she looks at him n stuff.

It's been almost a week and Daryl had only been upstairs once to shower. He went to the bedroom by the bathroom, peeked in and saw his crossbow settin in the corner. 

He walked around suspiciously openin' drawers and rifling around. Found a pair of clean socks and put them on top of the dresser. On the road they'd Always be looking for dry socks. Valuable commodity.

On the bed side table on the other side of where his crossbow lay, Daryl stopped in his tracks. Rick's watch. He picked it up and ran his fingers over it. Caught sight of the basket they'd been using for lil asskickers bed on the same side of the bed as the watch. 

He felt an overwhelming desire to run back to Eric's and tell him. What a weird feeling to want to confide something like this to a new friend. Hell to even have a friend was a weird feeling. But something he's started getting used to since the dead started to rise.

He heard the front door open and slam shut and someone else running down stairs. He recognized Carl and Rick's voices. How everyone could so easily switch back to talking so loud and slamming doors is beyond him.

Suddenly nervous and not wanting to be in here when Rick came up. He grabbed the socks and his pile of clothes from yesterday. Someone had cleaned and folded them. Left 'Em at the edge of the bed. He slipped into the bathroom and locked the door. Then after consideration, he unlocked it.

He stripped and left his pile of dirty clothes in a pile like a child and stepped into the steamy shower. 

Didn't think he needed it really. Only been a day. Only had some motor oil and a little dirt and grime from laying on the garage floor. But he wanted Rick to see him trying. Liked the look in Ricks eyes when he saw Daryl all cleaned up.

And he couldn't deny that the hot spray on his always sore shoulders felt good. He stood just letting the spray rain onto him, his head tilted toward the shower head to catch the fists drops when he heard the door open and close.

"Getting pretty comfortable, there Daryl. Takin' a shower without the door locked, crossbow left in the other room, no one on guard. That's gutsy". Rick said from behind the curtain. Daryl could hear his smile.

"Fuck you" Daryl growled.

Rick laughed. "I got next."

"How dirty you get walkin around town showin off your shiney badge!"

"Unlike you, I actually like being able to shower every day. Long as were here I'm getting as many as I can"

"Got a real job, by the way." Daryl said as he started soaping up.

"You did?" Rick asked perplexed. Probably expected he shoulda known somehow. That's what Daryl figured. 

"Yah- gotta head out in a few days so- guess I'll get my share a showers now too while I can.

"Going fucking where?" Rick asked. Daryl could tell by the sound of his voice that he was pacing the length of the bathroom. Daryl liked the worry in his voice. Liked being worried about. 

"Eric's outa commission. Gonna be goin with Aaron. Looking for more y' know good ones we can trust. Says I can tell a good man from a bad. Good tracker. Y'know." Daryl finished rinsing off and turned the faucet off and before he could ask for a towel, Rick yanked back the curtain.

"Tha' fuck, rick?" Daryl said grabbing for a towel.

"How come I wasn't brought in on this decision?" Rick said possessively. "Your mine... My people". 

Daryl used the towel to dry out his hair. Rest of his body in plain view. Not even shy. Scars were mostly in the back so this didn't bother him much.

He stopped still dripping with the towel wadded up in his hand at his side.

"Christ Rick you ain't my mama. I ain't asking permission. You want them bringing someone back here like the governor? The claimers? Have them share a neighborhood or even a house with your kids and 'your' people?"

Rick didn't reply. How unusual for Daryl to be full of words and rick so speechless.

Daryl threw the towel on the floor where his dirty clothes were and started pulling on a pair of blue collar work pants while he was still glistening with droplets from the shower.

"Don't want ya out there with someone I don't know." Rick said quietly. 

"You know Aaron. You seen him fight... literally with his hands tied. We'll be fine"

"Knowing ain't trusting and the only person I trust out there with you is me." Rick's voice had gotten so quiet. Not the normal decisive commanding Rick that Daryl was used to, but but almost like a sullen child.

"I can take care of myself. You know that."

"Just want ya with me. That's all". 

Daryl kept Rick's stare wordlessly. He reached past rick, their chests nearly touching as he grabbed the socks from the corner of the sink. 

Rick leaned back against the wall in defeat and Daryl had reached out and wrapped his arms around his best friend before he could even make the conscious decision to do so. Socks quickly forgotten and dropped to the floor.

Again, the hug lingered. The two men still but clinging tight. Rick lowered his head into the crook of Daryl's neck and Daryl slowly rubbed Rick's back through that stupid blue police jacket. 

Daryl thought of Aaron and Eric's kiss this morning. It had seemed so casual. Natural. He could imagine how easy it was. He heard Eric's voice telling him "you'll be making something happen out of what's already there."

Daryl moved his hands into Rick's hair. Felt rick tensing a bit but squeezing a little tighter at the same time. The archer went with his instincts. Brought his hand around to nudge Rick's chin up from being buried in his shoulder. And then leaned in and kissed Rick's soft lips. Daryl had no idea what he was doing. He'd never kissed Anyone before. But again, he had a hunters instincts and his lips and tongue somehow knew what to do. There was no hesitation in Rick's eager response and Rick moved his hands from Daryl's back into his long wet hair. 

Daryl never felt so close to someone in his life. Their gentle kiss got increasingly more powerful and passionate. And they gasped for breath.

Rick, being older and more experienced, as well as aware of his friends limited knowledge of this kind of intimacy, turned the men slowly so that Daryl was the one against the wall. 

The older man pulled away briefly just to turn on the shower.

"Anyone hears there's someone in here they won't even try the door" he whispered and quickly returned his mouth to Daryl's. 

In-between kisses Daryl breathed heavily "lock the door".

"Already did when I first came in." Rick responded as if he'd intended for this to happen from the start.

Rick pushed the length of his body against Daryl's, crushing him against the wall and grinding into him. 

A quick moan escaped Daryl's lips.

Rick's hands were all over him. Daryl hadn't put a shirt on yet and the feeling of Rick's hands on his bare skin was driving the hunter wild. 

Daryl, again working by instinct and not experience, had dropped his hands to Rick's waist to help facilitate the grinding. He could feel Rick hard against him. He was sure rick could feel Daryl's need as well.

Daryl reached up to peel off the officer's jacket and started unbuttoning his shirt. He needed to be closer. Closer even than this. Wanted his skin to touch Rick's skin in every way possible.

The steam from the hot shower surrounded them. Rick joined his hands in to speed up the unbuttoning and then pulled his tshirt over his head and threw it to the floor.

Rick's hands were back in Daryl's hair as they resumed kissing. Between pants and grinding Daryl murmured "rick, I don't know what tha fuck I'm doin" but kept his hands running over the officers arms coming together at the base of his neck greedily pulling him closer.

"Me neither" Rick said "but it feels good. So fucking good."

Rick didn't cuss much and the sound of those words on his tongue made Daryl's stomach flip. He was doing this. Daryl- always made to feel completely useless was bringing this man, his brother, his best friend to ecstasy.

They both still had their pants on but neither could bear the thought of pausing what's begun. 

"I'm gonna cum. Jesus Christ, Rick" Daryl moaned.

And simultaneously both men shuttered against each other from the intense session of high school dry-humping. Both Heaving breaths as rick leaned against the wall next to Daryl, arm to arm and leg to leg. The steam from the shower had dissipated.

"Don't think there's gonna be any hot water left to clean up." Rick said smiling at Daryl. Creating those sexy crinkles in the corners of his eyes. Daryl choked out a laugh.


	3. The First After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Immediately after Rick and Daryl's first intimacy.

Rick was quicker at cleaning up than Daryl. Though, Daryl was slow on purpose. Not sure what to do after. Kinda wanted Rick to be the first one back to the bedroom. It was dark out and the house sounded quiet. 

"Don't take forever" Rick said as he left the bathroom. Knowing that Daryl was dragging his feet on purpose. Rick knew this man completely. Knew every move. Has known for months that he'd shared the same feelings that had evolved within Rick, but also knew he'd have to wait until the hunter was ready before anything could happen.

"Yah." Daryl muttered glancing up to meet Rick's eyes. Nodding. 

Alone in the bathroom, Daryl pulled on a clean pair of underwear and a plain white T-shirt that had seen better days but at least it was clean. He leaned on the bathroom counter staring into the mirror that finally cleared from the steam. 

Looked himself in the eyes. Didn't really understand who was in there. Hell, Rick probably knew Daryl better than he knew himself. And as soon as the thought crossed his mind, he knew for a fact it was true.

After pacing a few times in his caged animal manner, he opened the door and took a few short steps to their room. He thought about knocking for a second but dismissed it as the stupidest thing anyone could do in this scenario. He walked in and shut the door behind him.

Rick was laying in bed with Judith fast asleep on his chest. 

"Michonne fed 'er for me. She had her first green bean tonight." he said softly patting her on the back.

Daryl's heart turned to goo as it always did around little ass-kicker. He went immediately to Rick reaching for her. Still asleep he took her from Rick and paced back and forth with her for a bit. 

"A green bean?" he whispered quietly. "Wait til you get some 'a my deer jerky. Day's gonna be right around the corner." He carefully slipped his pinky between her lips and felt along the gums.

"Anything yet?" Rick asked.

"Naw, don't think" Daryl has been slightly panicked about time getting close where Judith could end up in crying jags cause a teethin while they were on the run. But now safe in a home with walls... he was suddenly eagerly awaiting the first tooth.

He kissed her on the head and laid her down in the basket by Rick's side of the bed. As soon as he did it he regretted it. Now what? He had nothing in his hands. Nothing to do and not sure what to say. He started chewing on his thumb. Then walked over to his crossbow. Bent to look it over. Grabbed an arrow and sat indian style on the bed picking and scraping at the tip with his finger nail.

Rick patiently watched. Daryl could feel his eyes on him as he moved around the room.

Rick was still sitting up on his side. Sheet over him up to the waist and no shirt on. They sat in silence a few minutes. Not uncomfortable silence. Just a Rick and Daryl silence. An 'I'm gonna give him a few minutes to be ready to talk' kind of silence.

"So, how'd ya know I wasn't gonna cave yer skull in for that?" Rick asked with a smile playing on his lips.

Daryl frowned at him briefly and then put his focus back on picking at the arrow.

"I dunno" Daryl answered, ever the conversationalist. Those were his words, but Rick read his body. What he meant was "I had a way a knowin'. I'm just not sure how to find the words to explain it yet."

Rick reached out and patted Daryl's thigh. "It's 90 degrees out y'know. Your in your room. In a house. Take your shirt off." Rick knew Daryl was self-conscious of the scars from his childhood. But he so desperately wanted to remove every boundary that man put up. Daryl shook his head a little ending that part of the discussion for now.

"Eric told me it'd be ok". Daryl said and looked back at Rick. Rick burst into a huge grin. 

"Is that so?"

Daryl leaned back against the headboard next to Rick. Kept the arrow in his hands tho for something ta do.

"Yah."

"And how did that conversation arise? 'Eric can you pass me the wrench?', 'Sure. Here ya go. Also, -Rick wants you.'?

Daryl looked at him smirking. "Eric doesn't know what a wrench is."

Rick laughed and left the silence that he knew Daryl was almost ready to fill.

Daryl reached over to the crossbow keeping one leg on the bed and put the arrow down carefully then leaned back to his position, alongside of Rick.

"He basically just said he's watched us those couple weeks and y'know body language and all and he could tell. Told me some psychological shit about space and eyes and all kinds a shit that suddenly made a lot a sense. 'Sides, I trust you enough that if Eric wasn't right and if it wasn't there with you... well, you wouldn't hold it against me or anything. You'd just push me off. I'd make some excuse up and we'd joke it off." And after a brief pause he continued- "But really... I felt pretty confident it was gonna go my way." Daryl said and smiled brightly at the last sentence.

"You've gotten awfully confident there, Daryl Dixon."

"Was right, wasn't I?"

"Yah," Rick smiled. "You were right." He turned to the night stand and turned off the light and the room was dark except for a slice of the moon coming in the windows.

In the dark Daryl took his Tshirt off and threw it in the corner. Got under the sheets with Rick. Turning on his side, Daryl faced away from Rick. Cause he didn't know what to do facin' him. 

He felt Rick settle in behind him, getting under the thin sheet and pushing the quilt to the end of the bed. Ricks legs bent into Daryl's and his arm slid over his lover's waist. He felt Rick lay his head on the pillow so close that the front of his forehead touched Daryl's back. Felt a kiss on his neck.

"Night" Rick said.

"Mm hm" Daryl responded.

And both men fell into the most peaceful sleep they've had in years.


	4. Almost like normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their first morning together.

Part 4

Daryl woke from the best sleep of his life. He was on his back and Rick was still clinging to him, an arm draped over his waist and his head resting on Daryl's shoulder.

He smelled coffee and saw sunlight surrounding the sides of the blinds in the window.

Rick still breathed deep in sleep by him. Even the allure of the coffee wouldn't be enough to make him move this man from his side. 

He heard a soft gurgle and remembered Judith was in the room. Both men reflexively sat up at the sound of her, hands moving to their non-existent belts where guns and knives where usually at the ready.

Rick stepped out of bed, forgetting he had nothing on for a moment, and grabbing a pair of pants to drag on. 

Daryl had rolled to the side, hand holding up his head smiling ear to ear at Rick's bare ass and watching him stumbling into his jeans.

He picked little Judy up and returned to the bed with sleep in his eyes. 

"She's prolly wet."  
Daryl said and straddled the two of them to grab the diaper bag. Well, the beat-up LL Bean backpack that's been serving them well as a diaper bag. Brought it back to the bed just as sleepy Judy started to pout and fuss.

Daryl grabbed a diaper out and reached for his little ass-kicker. Rick handed her over with a sleepy smile, kissing her forehead briefly before he relinquished her.

"Hey, Sunshine." Daryl murmured "you feeling yucky? Should we fix that up?"

Judith kicked her feet and giggled.

Rick leaned back against the headboard and watched as Daryl gently wiped away at Judy with the coveted baby wipes they'd procured. Same hands that slit throats and gutted deer. But you'd never know it in this moment.

"I know yer gonna wanna do all kinds of talking and shit about feelings and stuff but before you drag me into that, can I just say how much I love baby wipes?" Daryl said, talking to Rick but looking at little Judith.

Rick laughed. Thinking about how many times on the run with not many choices in matters like this that Daryl had wiped her down with the only clean corner he had left of the shirt his was wearing before putting on a fresh diaper. The stares he got the first time were hilarious. "What?, he had hissed defensively. "You want her screaming from a diaper rash? Christ I already smell like shit. This ain't gonna make it any worse." Daryl really knew how to do what he needed to do. No matter how goddamn disgusting.

The hunter fished out his rabbits foot outa the bag. Rick had a feeling it was quite literally an actual rabbits foot. And then he tossed the bag on the floor. 

Gonna be pros and cons to shackin up with Dixon, Rick thought. Folded clothes and a tidy room are not going to be one of the benefits.

Daryl laid back on his side so he and Rick were facing each other. He laid Judy between 'Em and continued to dangle the rabbits foot above her head while she made a game of trying to reach passed it to get at his fingers. After catching one she popped it in her mouth sucking and gumming it. "girlie you gonna need to learn to start sucking your own thumb. Need to be independent in this world. 'Fact it'd help if you could start changing your own diapers too." He chuckled.

Rick laughed. Loved watching Daryl with his daughter. His heart pounded in his chest. Not out of the lust and need like last night, but just out of.... He guessed love.

Daryl looked over at Rick "well, go on." He grumbled.

Rick smiled "bout what?"

"Shit, Rick. You know you got shit to say. You always got shit to say"

Rick chuckled.

"When do you go out?" 

Daryl looked at him perplexed.

"On the next recruiting run with Aaron?" Rick answered the unspoken question.

"Are you kidding me? We just made out like two horney teenagers last night grinding each other til we both came in our fucking pants and you want to talk about work?" Daryl asked literally surprised at the first topic of the morning.

"Not about work. Just wanna know... You know, your schedule. Wanna know when I can grind up against ya again". Rick smiled.

Daryl help Rick's gaze. He had a way a looking at ya that made you lose track of everything in the world except for what was coming out of his mouth.

"Week er two prolly" Daryl answered. "Lot to do to get ready."

"How long ya gonna be gone?"

"Ain't worked out all the details yet. I'll let ya know."

Rick stayed silent. Giving Daryl a moment in case he wanted to say something too before they got some of that coffee and fed Judy.

"Never had nothing like that before" Daryl said, keeping Rick's gaze. No longer feeling like he needed to hide or avert his eyes. Felt good to want to see someone and for someone to want to see you.

"That's right. I'm your first ...anything." Rick said

" mmhm" Daryl answered

"Like it?"

"Not like I could lie. Ya seen what I did to my pants." Daryl said.

Rick laughed. "Yah, I did."

Daryl muttered "like bein as close to you as I can get 's all. Pants were kinda in the way"

Rick nodded "got it. No pants next time"

Daryl's heart gave that new unfamiliar feeling of levity at the words 'next time'.

"This girls gonna suck through and start drinking my blood if we don't get her downstairs and fed" Daryl said pulling his finger out of her mouth. Judith started fussing instantly. He pulled on pants, a T and his vest while Rick just gazed at him moving around the room. Daryl grabbed Judith up, threw a pillow at Rick... "Cmon- we can't stay up here all day" the hunter said.

Daryl came downstairs with Judith bouncing in his arm. The saint that had started the coffee was Michonne and she was listening intently to Carl.

"Mornin'" Daryl said handing Judy to Michonne so he could mix the formula. Still his family could move like that without words.

"Hey Munchkin" she coo'd at Judith as she stood to bounce with her. "If I'm handling her, then you can step in with Carl." Michonne said knocking her arm at Carl.

"Shut up, m'chone" Carl glowed.

"He need hand fed now too?" Daryl asked, razzing him.

"Girl trouble" Michone says with a cute grin at Carl.

"Carl!" Daryl mockingly shouted "you gotta girl?"

"If I had the girl I wouldn't have girl trouble." He sulked.

Daryl reached back for Judith and she took right to the bottle as he held her in is strong arms. 

"That wild- eyed one 'at don't talk much?" Daryl asked, already knowing the answer. Would have to be blind not to a noticed.

"Yah. Don't know what to say to her and stuff. Haven't been around anyone but you idiots for years."

Rick walked into the kitchen " don't call people idiots" he said in an old world dad way and ruffed his hair. "What's goin on down here?"

The normalcy of the reprimand was comforting.

"I got this." Daryl said. And Michonne laughed. 

"You gonna teach the boy romance, huh? Daryl Dixon?" Michonne laughed. 

"It ain't there yet, 'chonne. Man- how fast you move in the old world?"

Daryl sat down with Judith while Rick poured himself a cup of coffee and added more to Daryl's half empty cup.

"Here's what ya say.." Daryl said in A serious tone."

Carl leaned in like he was thinking about taking notes.

"Nuthin'" Daryl said like it was sheer genius and he leaned back in his chair.

Carl rolled his eyes.

"I'm serious. Girl's still feral like we all been. Didn't come in with family like us. Came in alone. Gonna take her longer to settle. You see her sitting somewhere. Just go sit with her. Ain't gotta say nothin. Just be there so when she's got something to say, yer the one she's saying it to."

Everyone was stunned silent at the sage advice from the same clueless redneck that once fought so hard at keeping people emotionally distant in the beginning.

"That's actually not bad" Carl said standing up.

Michone stood too. She was In her blues like Rick. I'll walk him over to that school. Meet you at Deanna's in a bit she said to Rick.

She looked at Daryl with a wide smile and just shook her head. "I still love a surprise. Unexpected things from unexpected people". And she and Carl left.

Just Rick, Daryl and Judith were left in the house. Rick met Daryl's eyes "Dixon" and bowed his head in a hello. "Officer" Daryl said.

Rick sat down at the table. "That how I got you? Just bein there when you were ready?"

"Naw- got me cause you have a nice ass." 

Rick laughed hard. God, Daryl loved to be the one to make him smile and laugh.

"You gonna work on the bike today?" Rick asked.

"Naw- waiting on a few more parts. On Glenn's list for the next run. Goin Hunting. I ain't a vegetarian. We need some meat in here." They both let the opportunity for innuendo drop, but both smiled.

"Who's keeping Judy today?" Daryl asked as he stood to burp her. 

"Old couple next door offered. I checked 'Em out. Seem like good people."

"How old?"

"I dunno- 70?"

Daryl starts vehemently shaking his head. "No no no- what 'f one 'a them has a heart attack or a stroke or falls down a flight of stairs and can't get up, dies, comes back and eats her!"

"Christ Daryl- ya getting a little melodramatic. You gonna babysit all day?

"Naw- Eric 'l do it. He's bored to tears over there." 

Rick smiled and nodded without words. 

Pictures Eric reading it all over Daryl's face. Daryl almost wanting to let him know what happened. His hunter has turned into a little gossip. 

"Well, I'm gonna head out then if yer gonna take her."

"Kay" Daryl replied. Wiping at Judy's bottom lip with a dishrag. 

Rick walked confidently across the room. Kissed Judy on the head and then put one hand along side Daryl's face and kissed him slowly. Parting his lips but not hungrily devouring him. Just sensually kissing him in the most tender way Daryl had ever been touched.

"Careful out there". Rick said as he leaned away and turned for the door.

"Mhmm". Daryl muttered realizing he'd forgotten to breath.


	5. Dishing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl finds himself in unfamiliar territory. He actually WANTS to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay in updating this story. Got wrapped up in another been writing. Finally got to a point in that one where I needed a breather from it so I'm back on this one for a bit.

Daryl slumped into a recliner in Aaron and Eric's living room while Eric sat bouncing baby Judy on his good knee. Cooing at 'er. Goin on like all of 'em did with her.

She'd grabbed onto the water bottle he'd been carrying and started biting at the tip. "Teeth 'er comin soon I think." Daryl said.

With Judith occupied, Eric looked up at Daryl. "Sooooo....."

"So what" Daryl asked though he clearly knew what the man was hinting at.

"You got a glimmer in your eye that's never been there before. Shoulders less tense. Actually toyin' with a smile over there. Out with it."

Daryl was surprised at how much he was dying to talk about it, like a fuckin damn girl 'er something.

Trying with all his might not to crack into a grin, he said "you were right. Was something there"

"That all your gonna tell me? Christ, I knew that already. I want the good stuff, Dixon. Now dish..."

Daryl couldn't help but chuckle at Eric.

"Well I don't know what to say. We kissed. A lot. It was nice."

"Nice?"

"Ok- amazingly nice. Un-be-fucking-lievably nice". Daryl sighed at the memory. Found himself wanting to continue and for the first time being frustrated at his constant struggle with words. "I...I... Just kinda did what ya said. Kept his eyes, had an excuse to lean towards him. Realized we'd been making moves like that with each other for months anyway. Wasn't even weird or nothing."

Eric was grinning so wide it looked like his face was about to burst.

"What is going on down here?" Aaron asked appearing out of nowhere, hair still damp from a morning shower.

"Talking about the bike and stuff". Daryl said trying to switch gears.

Aaron and Eric both laughed.

"Oh honey," Eric said to Daryl "now that you got your man, you'll find that you can't keep anything from him. Aaron is all up to speed on our chat yesterday." To Aaron, Eric added "there was some kissing and making out a few doors down last night." Wiggled his eyebrows for effect.

"Good for you." Aaron said to Daryl. Daryl tried to keep his face to his customary snarl. "And good for Rick." Aaron added "Christ, that guy has had his eyes on you like prey since the second he came into focus through my binoculars."

Daryl grinned. Loved hearing anyone talking about how much Rick wanted him. 

There was silence for a few moments just the sound of Judith trying to get her gums latched onto another section of water bottle.

"So.... I don't know what to do next, y'know?" Daryl said slowly looking to both men.

"Well, what exactly did you do last night?" Aaron asked.

Daryl shrugged out of habit like he wasn't gonna answer, but then fumbled through his description "just kissing and touching and grinding and stuff."

"Clothes on?" Eric asked way too eager for all the details.

"Just pants"

"Had to make a hell of a mess in those pants." Aaron said.

Diary looked down shyly "yah, we did. Both of us."

Eric squealed with joy "oh god, I love Love!"

"Well, like- I don't know what to do next. Rick said we won't let pants get in the way next time." His heart leapt again at the thought of "next time". 

Aaron answered "You two need to figure that out. You will. Explore each other and see what feels good. You've got instincts. You'll figure it out."

Aaron stood "gotta run, but Glenn stopped by with a couple a parts late yesterday if you wanted to start digging in."

"Kinda planned on hunting today, but I'll take a look first." Daryl responded standing as well. He went over to kiss on Judith's cheek before he disappeared behind the garage door.

\--------

About 40 minutes into the bike, Daryl wondered if he was going to make it out to hunt at all. Glenn had done a fantastic job of getting some of the most important pieces.

As he fought with trying to loosen a rusty screw he heard the door from the house open. Expecting Eric or maybe Aaron he quickly glanced over, hands still working the rusted piece of metal.

He stopped and stood when he realized it was the sheriff. His sheriff. 

"What are you doing here, officer?" Daryl teased.

"Guys at the gates said ya never went through to hunt. Just worried about where ya were." Rick answered, thumbs in his waistband and looking around the garage.

Daryl liked the feel of someone worrying about him. Specially Rick.

" 'm fine. Glenn had pulled through with some of the parts so kinda got wrapped up on this"

"That eager to leave me?" Rick said with an actual pout walking toward Daryl.

"Naw, ain't like that ...and you know it." 

Rick leaned into Daryl. Thumbs still in his waist band and Daryl wrapped his arms around him.

"Can't think 'a nothin else today." Rick muttered. "Wanna make sure it's the same for you."

"It is" Daryl said, getting hard just from Rick's sexy voice.

"But I wanna make sure" Rick said and he started fumbling at Daryl's belt buckle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clearly- some dirty garage sex is coming up next! Thanks for all the comments. I love to hear everyone's thoughts on the story line and the direction.


	6. What Happens in the Garage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick surprises Daryl and continues to help his new, inexperienced lover learn more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since my other story is on the midst of action and angst, I needed and little smut break... So voila!

The sheriff dropped one hand to feel Daryl. "Clearly you don't mind this interruption" he smirked.

Rick nibbled and kissed on the hunters neck while he unbuckled and unbuttoned Daryl's pants.

"Seriously, Rick." Daryl whispered "I REALLY don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how... to do.... Anything"

"I know. I'm gonna show you everything." Rick had his hand on Daryl's ass. Squeezing. Kissing getting deeper and more passionate as Daryl stood there, pants slowly slipping down to his ankles. Had his hands in Rick's hair as they kissed. Didn't know where else to put 'em. Likes Rick's hair. Thick curls. Loved the feel of the curly strands slipping between his fingers.

"Right now.." Rick said between kisses.."all you gotta do is stand here..." More kisses. "can you do that?"

"MmHmm" Daryl answered, his lips and tongue still busy. 

Rick slowly pulled away from Daryl's mouth and slowly sank to his knees. 

The look of Rick, hair mussed up from Daryl's fingers, dressed in his blues , kneeling in front of Daryl's exposed cock, piercing blue eyes looking up into Daryl. The hunter already felt like he was going to explode. 

Rick put his hand gently on Daryl and slowly licked up and down, exploring with his tongue. Daryl knew Rick had never been with a man. Wondered how he learned this and quickly figured he was doing what he'd liked having done to himself in the past. 

Daryl didn't like the thought of anyone else's hands on Rick and shook it from his head. Watched Rick's head move back and forth as he took Daryl completely into his mouth. 

The hunter's head fell back and a throaty groan escaped his lips. 

Looking back down, his hands felt so empty. He reached down to Rick's head and twisted his fingers into his curls.

"Mmmm.." Rick hummed and pulled back for a sec. "Yah, that's good"

Daryl was grateful for the encouragement. He let Rick set the pace but as he grew harder and closer, he felt himself using his hands to control Rick's mouth. It only took seconds and Daryl exploded. Forgot to warn Rick, but the sheriff was swallowing and smiling by the time Daryl opened his eyes back up.

"Sorry." Daryl said shyly. "Shoulda told ya I was close"

"Wouldn't have mattered. Wanted to taste you." Rick said, licking his lips then slowly leaning in to kiss Daryl full on the mouth. 

Kissing the mouth that just did that to the hunter made it even more powerful, addictive, he was going to be craving this mouth every second of every day for the rest of his life. Rick finally had to break the kiss.

"I better get going- got a job, ya know" and points to his badge. Daryl tried to walk him to the door, before realizing his pants were still at his ankles and tripping into the work table knocking off some wrenches and a phillips head as he grasped for balance.

Rick grinned at his clumsy lover. 

"Told ya I don't know what the fuck I'm doing." Daryl said frustrated, pulling up his pants.

"Think we did that just fine." Rick said with his intoxicating blue stare.

"See ya tonight, ok"

"MmmHmm" Daryl answered, at a loss for words, as usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments I've been receiving. I love getting the feedback! Please keep it coming. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy! :-)
> 
> Plus I love any opportunity to chatter back and forth about all things Rickyl!


	7. Not used to this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life is so different now for Daryl and it's about to change even more once his relationship with Rick is exposed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup- ignored this story for a week and three chapters in one day. I'm obsessive like that!

Daryl is not used to this. Not used to waking up in someone's arms. Not used thinking about someone all damn day, every day. Not used to kissing goodbye and hello when coming and going from the house. Hell, not used to having a house!

He's not used to it, but he's getting used to it. Realized that when he accidentally leaned into Rick at the coffee pot for a long languid kiss.... Right in front of Michonne.

As both men pulled away they realized it. Both turning slowly to face the samari.

"Ummmm.... I guess I shouldn't be surprised since Rick offered to 'bunk with you' so everyone else had a room. Gotta assume by the ease that wasn't the first kiss." She grinned.

Daryl was beside himself. He had no words. Rarely had 'em anyway, sure as hell didn't have 'em now. He just leaned back waiting for the slowest percolating pot of coffee in the history of man and started gnawing on his thumb nail. 

Feeling guilty. Let Rick down. Put his guard down for ONCE and now this. He peeked over at Rick for help. Even though this was all his fault.

Rick was smiling. Grinning ear to ear at Daryl's adorable awkwardness. Daryl wouldn't say that. Those were Rick's words, always calling him things that take the bad stuff about Daryl and makin' them sound desirable. Rick always told Daryl when he'd get fumbley he was so 'adorably awkward' and then showered him with kisses. Why he was smiling about this was beyond him.

"You caught us red-handed, Michonne." Rick said, completely calm.

"Yah, I sure did." 

Rick gently tugged Daryl's nervous thumb out of his mouth. " 's gonna be nice not hiding it" he told Daryl.

"Your secret is safe with me" Michonne said crossing her heart with her index finger.

"Ain't no secret". Rick said.

"Ain't?" Daryl asked softly. Confused.

Rick wrapped his arms around Daryl. "Know what's better 'n being in love? He said "bein able to let everyone know about it." Rick kissed Daryl again purposefully right in front of Michonne. 

"Alright, guys. I get it. I don't need to see the second half of the show here. You're happy, I'm happy. Everyone else will be happy. Now I'm going to excuse myself before either of you get any happier right here on the kitchen table." 

She kissed them both on the cheek and said in a more serious tone "Good for you. Love is what it's all worth."

Daryl wasn't used to this new life. Friends, family, a lover. People who wanted him, needed him, were happy for him. 

Alone in the kitchen Rick ignored the full pot of coffee and just leaned back into Daryl acting like he wouldn't be able to breath if Daryl's lips weren't 'gainst him. The hunter likes that. Feels like that himself.

"Um- can I just get a cup a coffee?" Glenn's voice ruins the moment like a needle being scratched off a record.

Rick pulled Daryl over to the sink, his thumbs tucked into the hunters belt.

"Sorry," Rick said "we're in love." Grinning ear to ear, Rick waited for a response as Daryl bit on his nail again.

"No shit." Glenn said. It wasn't 'no shit" like a question. It was 'no shit' like 'I'VE already known, did YOU guys just find out.?'

"You ain't surprised?" Daryl asked around his thumbnail.

Glenn was pouring a cup of coffee. "Geez guys- Mags could tell months ago. When'd you find out?"

"How she know 'fore we even know?" Daryl asked frustrated.

Glenn leaned against the counter and shrugged. "She's a woman. She knows shit." He paused to take a drink. "Seems she's right." He motions to Rick's hands. He'd still had his thumbs tucked into the waist of Daryl's pants.

\-------

Before they finally went their separate ways that morning Daryl asked about Carl.

"What about him?" Rick asked. 

"You gotta tell him 'fore he walks in on something. Which is likely to happen since you can't keep yer hands to yourself any more" Daryl said toyingly just recently learning to flirt.

"Told him yesterday." Rick answered.

"What?! Well... When were ya gonna tell me that?" Daryl paused. Waited a minute. Maybe two. "Well , what did he say?"

"Said your awesome. He's happy for me cause he can tell I'm happy. Said he wants to be a bad ass like you when he grows up, only he's gonna like girls instead. He did follow that up with a 'no offense' which was nice." Rick smiled.

"Was he.... Confused about it?" Daryl asked "Cause frankly I'm still confused about it."

"Nah. Not at all. And you're only confused about it cause ...y'know ... You never had ANYONE before. "

"We got shit to do." Daryl said and swatted Rick's ass. 

"Yah" Rick relented. "But tonight I'm gonna work more on this confusion of yours." Rick smiled.

Daryl wasn't used to this. Bein flirted with. Bein in love. Bein admired and respected by a 12 year old. Wants to be just like him? Hell, no one's ever wanted to be like a Dixon. 'Specially not Daryl. In this life, bein Daryl Dixon is flat out wonderful.

Before Rick walked out the door, Daryl kissed him again. "Hate tryin a breathe without you near me all day." He fumbled through his words not even sure what he was tryin to say.

Rick smiled "I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come! Thanks for the comments throughout this story. I always look forward to hearing from the readers!


	8. Wooing People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl has a heart-to-heart with Carl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot and character development chapter but some good gushy stuff from Daryl.

That night, Daryl was later than usual getting home. Had dinner with Aaron and Eric so they could talk out their tactics and plan for the next recruiting run which was only a few days off.

By the time he was back home, everyone had retired to their respective bedrooms. Daryl grabbed a shower before even saying hello to rick. Knew he wouldn't be able to pull himself away once he laid eyes on him after such a long day. Since he hadn't brought in clean clothes, he walked over to his room with a towel wrapped round his waist. 

"Well hello!" Rick said as Daryl entered, the book he'd been reading literally tossed aside without even marking the page. 

"Didn't thing you'd be so late." Rick purred tugging at the towel. Daryl swatted him away, trying to act like he had some semblance of control. He pulled on a pair of jeans and looked over to the floor on Rick's side of the bed. 

"Where's my girl?" He asked pouting 

"Sleepover with her big brother tonight." Rick said. He lay on his stomach, chin on his hands, his lean body stretched across the bed, legs kicking back and forth like an antsy child.

"Gotta say g'nite" Daryl said and turned to leave. In an attempt to be a little more aggressive in their relationship he turned back to Rick "don't you move a muscle though." He grinned.

"You are so fucking sexy when you tell me what to do." Rick groaned.

Daryl pulled a tshirt on too and then walked down the hall to Carl's room and tapped on the door.

"Yah"

Daryl walked in. Carl was reading an old Hardy Boys book to Judy. She was in her basket gazing up at her big brother. 

"Wanted to say g'nite to my little ass kicker" Daryl said and picked her up rocking her, kissing her forehead. "You gonna have a sleepover little one?" Daryl cooed at her.

Daryl nodded at the book in Carl's hand. He remembered reading a few of those when he was trying to escape from his life. "Bettern' the comic books ain't they?"

Carl shrugged " 's ok". Daryl could tell as he finished loving on Judy and bent to put her down that Carl wasn't going to let him out so easy. 

"You love my dad?" He asked. 

Daryl stood, not sure what to do with his hands. Wanted to seem confident and reassuring.

He leaned against the door and tucked his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

"Yah" he said

"Good". Carl said after a long pause. "Cause he loves you. Like.. A LOT."

Daryl couldn't help but grin. Felt like a damn school kid. Looked down kicking one bare foot against the other. "He say that?"

"Yah, plus, like, I'm not an idiot. I have eyes. Seen the way you guys look at each other."

"That obvious huh?"

"Yah." Carl paused again but kept his position - sitting up at the edge of his bed. "You aren't gonna get sick of it are you?" He asked.

"Sick a what?"

"Lovin' him. Like mom did."

Daryl pulled up the desk chair and sat down. Got eye to eye with Carl and looked right at him. "Carl- I will never do anything to hurt your father. I am in love with him and I don't ever want to be without him. I would die for him and I would kill for him. I will never get sick of loving him. I wouldn't be able to stop even if I wanted to. Ok?"

Carl smiled "ok". He scooted back to his pillow and grabbed his book. 

Daryl got up to leave. Kinda proud of himself. Had a conversation. Doesn't think he fucked it up. As he walked towards the door Carl stopped him- "Hey Daryl."

Daryl stopped and turned. "Yah?"

"I talked to her. That girl. Did what ya said- couple hours yesterday just sat down while she was looking at the clouds. Didn't say nothing. Then today I sat by her. She was throwing stones in a puddle. I sat down and started doing the same."

Daryl nodded. Making it clear with his body language that he was on the edge of his seat and couldn't wait to hear the rest.

"After a while she said 'I hate the people who live here.' Then I said 'I don't live here.' And she smiled! Said 'I didn't mean you'". Carl was beaming.

"Wow. Good job, buddy" 

"That was all. But I thought it was a pretty good start." 

"Sure is" Daryl nods. Smiles.

"You're good at that sort of thing." Carl said.

"What kind of thing?" Daryl asked - truly puzzled.

"Y'know" Carl blushed "like woo-ing people" 

Daryl laughed shaking his head. "That is DEFINITELY not one of the things I'm good at."

"Yah, y'are. Got Enid talking. Got my dad."

"I don't think I was the one controlling that. Too shy" Daryl smiled.

"Nuh uh." Carl chided "Dad said you kissed him first"

"Oh he did!?" Daryl asked exasperated.

Carl nodded.

"Well, ....that was his fault for ....putting himself in the position ta be kissed" Daryl stuttered. "Go to bed"

Carl laughed. "Night, Daryl"

"Night kid". Daryl left and shut the door quietly behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned- Daryl returns to the bedroom where he and Rick continue to explore the sexual dynamics of their new relationship.


	9. Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl has begun to develop more confidence in their relationship and it shows in the bedroom.

Daryl paused at his bedroom door still shaking his head over the conversation he just had with Carl. It kinda gave him a newfound confidence. Everything has lately. 

Everyone knew now. They were all truly happy for the men. Rick was so excited, giggly and shit like he was showing off a new car or a newborn baby the way he'd declare his love in front of anyone that would listen. 

And those that would listen, which was everyone, ...no one wondered why. No one gave Rick glances that said "a Dixon? You can do better than a Dixon." 

No one acted like they didn't get what Rick saw in Daryl. And vice versa. And now even Carl. Telling him, in no uncertain terms, that Rick was his, completely. Rick loved him and wasn't afraid to tell anyone. 

Carl was so thick with approval that he showed worry. And not worry about Rick loosing interest, but concern that Daryl would! Kid had made it perfectly clear that Daryl didn't have to worry about Rick "getting sick of it"

With his heart thumping, his new sense of worth and confidence and suddenly a raging hard on at the thought of Rick stretched out on his stomach, not moving a muscle on the other side of the door, Daryl straightened tall and squared his shoulders. 

He opened the door and felt a sense of power at how Rick was still in place. Naked. Stretched out on his stomach, chin on his hands just like Daryl asked of him.

"You took forever" he pouted. 

"Why did you tell your son I kissed you first, you ass?

Rick grinned. "By that point I was just answering questions" Rick replied innocently. "Why were you in there so long? Huggin' on Judith or talking about me?" He grinned.

"Your boy talks a lot." Daryl mumbled. 

He smiled and his eyes glazed at the sight of Rick laying there. "I see you didn't move a muscle just like I asked."

"Sounded more like an order than a request. Didn't want to disobey my lover." Rick flirted. "But I cannot tell a lie...one muscle had been moving a bit."

Daryl rolled his eyes and started taking his clothes off as Rick watched, admiring him and smirking devilishly at the hard on that spring out."

Daryl looked down the length of Rick's sexy lean torso. 

Rick started to rise to his elbows and Daryl snapped at him playfully "I didn't say you could move yet."

Rick, clearly turned on by the the hunters husky reprimand wiggled back into position. "Daryl Dixon... " he sighed "what ever are you planning to do with me now that you know I'm yours?"

Shit, Daryl had no damn idea but liked the tone of the moment and the air in the room, the seductive direction things were going in. He still didn't know half of what he was doing, but loved to be figuring it out with Rick.

He wanted his hands on Rick. He knew that. He straddled Rick and started massaging his muscular shoulders.

Rick moaned. "Oh man, that feels so nice."

Daryl loved hearing Rick's voice saying things like that. Felt himself getting even harder and knew Rick would feel the hunter's cock on his back.

"I like the feeling of you behind me" Rick sighed.

Daryl climbed off and tugged at Rick's hips, pulling his ass to the end of the bed. 

"I want to try this lube" Daryl said, his voice husky and strong. His fingers slid lightly up and down Rick's crack. "Can I?"Daryl asked heatedly.

"Yes" Rick groaned leaning his ass closer to Daryl's teasing fingers.

Daryl grabbed the lube from their nightstand and coated two fingers. Rick was twisted around so he could see what Daryl was doing. The hunter swatted him on the ass, "Don't be so nosy about what's going on back here." He teased. "You'll find out soon enough." 

Rick, up on all fours on the bed now, faced forward again and groaned in anticipation.

Daryl let a slick finger run across  
Rick's hole and slowly inserted it.  
He'd read about some of this stuff in Merle's old playboys. "Let me know if anything hurts". He said softly.

"Nothing's going to hurt" Rick said quickly. "I've been wanting you inside me for months"

The desperation in Rick's voice was such a turn-on. Normally one who prefers quiet and silence, Daryl found he just wanted to keep hearing Rick's words- his begging and groaning and saying things about how much he wanted Daryl.

The hunter wished his could think of something to say... To ask... To get Rick talking again. But as usual, he was at a loss for words. 

With two fingers now inside Rick, stretching and toying, Rick murmured. "Oh god, Daryl. Now. Please"

Daryl's blood pulsed faster in his body at the sounds of Rick's words.

"Now what?" Daryl asked toying with him. Wanting to hear more desperate words spilling from Rick's sexy mouth. 

"Fuck me, Daryl. Jesus" 

Daryl pulled his fingers out, added lube to his cock and pushed slowly into Rick. A guttural cry escaped Rick's lips as Daryl slowly sunk into him.

"Jesus Christ. It's so damn tight." Daryl heard his own voice, not even realizing he was saying it. It was the first time he'd ever been inside someone. He felt like he possessed Rick like this. Owned him. Had a sense of power and confidence he's never felt. Heard Rick's words "oh my god, Daryl. Oh god." 

Daryl got off on the power of giving his lover such pleasure. He began thrusting in and out of Rick. As far in as he could go, the thrusts getting faster and harder. 

Daryl reached around to grab Rick's cock, already dampened by leaking precum. After three slow  
Strokes, Daryl whispered "Cum for,  
Rick" and instantly, Rick shot his load into the bed sheets with a gasp and collapsed on top of the mess as Daryl lost his load deep inside Rick, moaning in ecstasy. 

They lay in bed, breathing heavily. Coming down off their high.

"Did I hurt you?" Daryl asked with worry.

"Jesus no. You gave me the best orgasm of my life." Rick said

Daryl grinned shyly. Starting to revert back a bit to the more timid and shy half of the apocalyptic power-couple.

Rick leaned over, cupping Daryl's face in his hands. "I loved how you did that. That was an incredible turn on. All that confidence in your moves and in your voice. It turns me on to know that you..." Rick paused actually at a loss for words for once. "That you know how badly I want and need you. That you know it. I want you to know that so badly. I love you so much."

Daryl just grinned like an idiot, not knowing what to say back.

"How did it feel for you?" Rick asked

Daryl didn't know how to answer. Started biting at his thumb. Rick knocked it gently away and kissed him. Through his kiss Rick asked again "how did it feel, tell me"

Daryl continued the kiss, hands tight on Rick's hair. "Felt like you were mine. Felt amazing". Daryl said

"I am yours." Rick answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure about this chapter and if it really fits or not. Would love any feedback!


	10. Going

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl and Aaron leave tomorrow. The four men have dinner together and Daryl has to drag a very drunk Rick back home afterwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning.... I didn't spend much time editing this yet so please forgive typos and errors.

Rick knew the day was coming. Aaron and Daryl had spent more time together packing and planning. The motorcycle was up and running. Their group had become well acclimated and Deanna was ready to continue the search for more "of the good ones"

As "constable" Rick knew he wouldn't be able to broker a deal to join the men to recruit. He had this job and Daryl had his. 

As the day grew closer, Rick's PDA and constant affection had gone to the next level. Daryl- not used to being loved in private, much less so openly in public was getting used to it and Rick loved the times, and there were more that a few, when Daryl initiated the affection.

Rick felt like his sole mission in life was to make sure Daryl knew he was loved. Sure- keep the peace in Alexandria. And obviously raise his children. But he had Michonne's help as co-constable and Daryl's help with the kids. Daryl's happiness belonged completely to Rick.

As the constable walked out of Deanna's from getting a daily update, Daryl came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his lover. Kissed his neck softly. Right there on Deanna's front walk.

Rick loved that. He loved when Daryl would show that this was not one-sided. Rick just stopped in his steps and leaned Back into Daryl's embrace. 

"When do you leave?" Rick murmured knowing that was part of this visit. 

"Tomorrow. Early." Daryl said gruffly. 

Rick's head slumped to his chest-  
"Hey" Daryl said turning him so they faced each other in their embrace. "I'm supposed the be the brooding, moody one." He said.

Rick tried to smile but it fell flat. "How long?"

"Just a few days unless we find someone to monitor. Might be a week or two then." Daryl kissed Rick's forehead. Still feeling slightly foolish acting like this in public, but unable to stop consoling his lover. 

"Aaron and Eric want to have us over for dinner tonight ok? We'll talk to you more about how the recruiting works... Exactly what we plan to do. Might make you feel better. Ok?" Daryl asked.

"I KNOW how it goes. I'm the one who handcuffed Aaron, held a gun to his head and punched him in the face." Rick said, his voice thick with worry.

"Not everyone is like you, Rick. And that's both an insult and a compliment, by the way." He paused. "You know how badly I'll want to get back into your arms. You know I can fight my way out of anything. And Aaron- he can talk is way out of anything. We'll be a good team. Safe." He paused to hug Rick tighter. "Dinner, ok?"

"Ok." Rick took his lovers face in both hands and kissed him passionately. In this life you have to take every moment you are given.

Suddenly losing his bit of control, Daryl felt his eyes stinging from tears. He kept the gentle kiss going until he could pull himself together. "We'll head over to "Aaron's around 6 ok?" 

"Yah"  
\-----------

Rick came home around 4 after Michonne relieved him for the day. He showered, not sure where Daryl was. Left the door unlocked in hopes he'd show up to join, but Rick's fingers were pruned and the water was turning cold so he abandoned that hope, dried off and got dressed in his best jeans and a nicest button up shirt. 

He laid on the bed to wait. Rosita had Judith for the night. She came to Rick with the offer and a look of sympathy after she'd found out Daryl was leaving the next day. Rick fell asleep with thoughts of walkers, the already once-dead ones and the living that hadn't died at all yet, but had the potential to take and kill and, in Rick's book, were much more dangerous than the dead. His nap was not restful.

Daryl tiptoed up the stairs, knowing his lover well enough that he was certain the man had fallen asleep waiting for him. It was 5:15. He went strait to the shower to get cleaned up and with a towel wrapped around his waist, he saw his assumption was correct. Rick lay, fully dressed, hands folded against his hard stomach, eyelids wild in REM.

He was so beautiful. This would be the first time would ever leave for anything, pre or post apocalypse, where he'd be leaving something so treasured behind. Something he had to get back to. Checking his watch- it was almost time to wake him and leave for dinner. Daryl laid on the bed and kissed Rick's forehead, leaving his lips there until Rick stirred and slipped his arms around Daryl out of habit. "No, no, no.." Daryl chided. "Dinner first." Daryl dragged a pouting Rick to his feet. Kissing him gently on the lips. Secretly Daryl was excited to show off his lover and the depth of their relationship to Aaron and Eric. It was them, after all that gave Daryl the courage to open his eyes. 

They walked four houses down, hand in hand. Silence between them. The nice silence. The kind they'd been using for years to communicate. Walking without a single word they had a deep conversation through glances, smiles, nods and hand squeezes. 

Rick had a bottle of wine in one hand. Insisting to Daryl that this was a typical thing to do. Daryl had never been invited to dinner anywhere... Ever. He always deferred to Rick's knowledge about things like that.

Aaron opened the door and welcomed them in. Patted Daryl on the back and shook Rick's had firmly. 

"Bout ready. Eric's in the kitchen having a fit about the world's lack of fresh pineapple." He shrugged his shoulders and smiled. "But dinners ready." And as an aside he added "please don't mention that it would taste better with pineapple."

Daryl was right to defer to Rick on the wine. Eric not only seemed pleased but also seemed to expect such a gesture. Good thing too, because they went through more than one bottle.

Aaron took a lot of time explaining the run to Rick, knowing the man was sick with worry about being without his lover for so long. Rick paid very close attention as they ate. It was confident Rick. In control Rick. Asking credible and important questions. Bringing up good points that made Daryl and Aaron review and reevaluate right there during the meal. 

Eric stayed rather silent. Normally, he'd gone on the run, so this was going to be a first for him as well. Rick and Eric would be left behind while their men go in search of the most dangerous animal on the planet- man.

After dinner Rick insisted on looking over the map Aaron and Daryl had established and their route for this first trip out. 

Daryl and Eric sat in the living room working on a third bottle of wine.

"You better watch it sugar," Eric reprimanded his friend. "You got dangerous work ahead tomorrow. All I have to do is sit here and sulk. Daryl smiled, already feeling the wine buzz.

"Good point" he said, and leaned over to dump the rest of his wine into Eric's glass. Probably a pretty redneck move but these men have accepted Daryl for who he is and he doesn't think for longer than a second if that was too "Dixon" of a thing to do. Didn't seem to matter. Eric guzzled it.

"Please keep him safe, Daryl." Eric said quietly.

Daryl nodded and firmly answered, "I will." They were silent for a moment. "And if you can check on Rick once in a while. Make sure he's not pouting in public. He had a reputation to protect." Daryl grinned.

Eric nodded wordlessly and made the "cross my heart and hope to die" sign over his chest.

Finally Aaron had convinced Rick that they had a good plan and all four sat in the living room. Rick and Eric busting into a fourth bottle of wine and Aaron and Daryl switching to water. 

Daryl grinned as Rick's speech started to stutter and slur a bit. He'd never been much of a drinker. After nearly tripping over his own two feet on the way to another glass of wine, Daryl pulled him onto his lap. "It's getting late. Let's go home."

Rick curled into him "yes. Let's go home. I want to be in bed with you, and have my hands on you and wanna feel you inside me again and.."

Daryl bolted up flushed. It was getting a little too public even with it just being Eric and Aaron. "Ok, lover," Daryl said "let's not kiss and tell." 

Aaron and Eric grinned. "Hey-don't monitor your man on my account" Eric said "you know I love all the juicy details".

"You are gonna have a hell of a hangover tomorrow, love. Daryl whispered into Rick's ear. Rick responded at his normal volume "God, I love it when you call me 'love' like that. Do it again...." He slurred.

"Well, thanks for a lovely dinner." Daryl said as he practically held Rick up to drag him to the door.

Aaron nodded at Daryl "6 am". Daryl nodded back.

\-------------

Once Daryl had Rick out of his clothes and in bed, he started pulling off his own boots. Only 8pm. They had some time to indulge before Daryl really had to get some sleep. 

As Daryl undressed he listed to Rick's babbling and tried to sear every mutter into his memory so he'd have it with him on his trip. Slurred or not, Rick's voice was like air for Daryl.

"Daryl." Rick moaned "I'll die without you, you know. I don't want to be in this bed without you."

"I'm here now... So just uh shut up  
Ok?" Daryl said in his best effort to console his drunken lover.

Rick whined and pouted, starting to tear up as he spoke. "Daryl, we haven't been apart. Since the prison crumbled. And after I found you again..." Rick started hiccuping. Daryl rubbed his back. 

"Calm down, sweet one" Daryl coo'd

"I don't want to lose you." He hiccuped. "I just got you. I just got you." He stuttered and hiccuped some more. 

"What you got sweetness is shit-faced. But I still love you." And Daryl leaned in to kiss Rick at the corner of his eye, where the little wrinkles are that he adored so much. 

"Daryl" Rick pouted. 

"Yes?"

"I don't think I can get it up and it's our last night." He sobbed and hiccuped at the same time.

Daryl ran his hair through Rick's curls. "No shit. Go to sleep, ok? Cause I'm waking you up at 4 and fucking your brains out." Daryl whispered I his ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will pick up at 4 a.m. The next morning as Daryl promised.


	11. Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picks up where we left off- the Night before Daryl has to leave.

He'd tried his best to get Rick to drink lots of water before he fell asleep. Shoved a few Tylenol down his throat that Rick fought him on. Had to push them in like giving a damn cat a pill. And after a few more minutes of drunken declarations of love, Rick finally fell asleep and Daryl drifted off to the sound of Rick's soft alcohol-induced snores.

It was 4 a.m. Daryl rolled over and watched Rick sleep. Tried to memorize everything about his face. After a few minutes he knew he was running out of time. He softly pressed his lips to Rick's sleeping mouth and Rick responded immediately.

"Morning sunshine," Daryl whispered 

Rick cuddled up to him "time 's it?" He murmured.

"Ten after four"

Eyes still closed and voice thick with sleep he muttered. "Shouldn't you have been fucking me ten minutes ago?" And he smiled as he opened his eyes.

"So you haven't blacked out the whole evening." Daryl nodded in approval. 

"I wasn't that drunk"

"Do you remember falling in my lap?

"Yah... Did it on purpose. Wanted to be in your lap."

"Yah sure" Daryl responded brushing back the mop of thick curls.

"Why are we still talking? Rick asked. Sitting up then climbing onto Daryl instantly starting to grind, kissing his lips, nibbling on the lower one cause he knew Daryl liked that.

Daryl moaned. "Don't get me off too quick, this memory might have to last me weeks.

Rick Slid off the hunter and kissed his way down his neck to his chest. He circled a nipple with his tongue surprised at his lovers reaction. 

"Really?" Rick said, much more alert now. And he licked and sucked more on the hunters nipple switching to nibbling, grabbing the hard tip between his teeth and tugging while Daryl went insane. 

"Christ I'm not even touching your cock yet" Rick said. 

"Well, maybe you should." Daryl Whimpered

"Nah- you wanted to go slow." Rick teased. He went back to the same nipple. Biting and tugging, sucking on it like Judith did with her pacifier. 

Daryl groaned with pleasure. When he pulled away he traced the purple/blue bruise he'd made with his finger and rubbed the nipple that had been sucked raw with the tip of his finger. "Oh, your gonna feel that. T-shirt rubbing over that the next few days... You won't forget to come home to me."

Daryl was hard as a Rock and so turned on. He took Rick by the shoulders and flipped him onto his back kissing and grinding.

Rick reached over to the nightstand and squeezed some lube into his hand and reached down to pump Daryl. 

He lifted up on his heals giving Daryl access. "Fuck me like this. I want to see you" Rick whispered.

Daryl grabbed his cock to get some of the lube onto his fingers to get Rick ready. 

"No" Rick said grabbing his hand. "I want to feel you. Now. I want you in now. Right now"

"It might hurt." Daryl said brushing a hand against Rick's face.

"I want to feel it, Daryl. All of it. Fuck me please" he begged.

Rick's sexy voice begging for Daryl's cock was too much to fight. He pressed into Rick slowly watching Rick's face contort from pain to pleasure. He slowly pumped little by little. Rick's jaw slack, eyes squeezed shut and breath shallow in anticipation.

"Open your eyes" Daryl said.

Rick did as he as told.

"I want to see you."

As Daryl moved in and out he kept his gaze on Rick's. Their eyes locked together. 

Daryl grabbed Rick's hand and with the hunters hand on top, slowly encouraged his lover to pump himself. Taking his hand away, leaving Rick's hand on his own cock while Daryl was deeper inside him, the hunter begged "I wanna watch how you do it."

Rick fought to keep his gaze on Daryl even though his eyes so badly wanted to roll back in his head in ecstasy. He ran his hand up and down his shaft, giving extra attention to the tip while Daryl studied his movements and started pumping faster inside him. 

"God, Daryl- I'm gonna cum" his sentence barley complete before he shot out onto his chest and belly. 

Daryl's head rolled back as he grunted and came hard inside of his lover. 

He quickly pulled out, bent down and lapped and sucked at Rick's cum. Slithering his tongue around his belly, into his chest. Tasting him. Wanting to remember that taste. Cleaning him off like a cat with her young.

Once he cleaned every drop he could find he collapsed next to Rick and pulled him into his arms.

"I will be back as soon as I can" Daryl panted. "Nothing is going to keep me away from more of that." He smiled. Looking over at Rick. 

He had tears in his eyes. Daryl wiped them away. "Please don't. Please". He kissed Rick softly. "I swear to you I will be back."

Twenty minutes later, Rick lay alone in bed and Daryl was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know your thoughts. For the first time, I'm not sure where to go next!


	12. Recruiting- Day one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl and Aaron stop for the night after their first day of tracking.

The first night scouting, Aaron and Daryl had gotten about 50 miles out, parked off in a field and did some footwork. Daryl had seen some debris on the side of the road that looked like people may have camped there at one point and moved on. No dead bodies or blood, so maybe they are still alive and near. 

After checking the perimeter and noting the setting sun, they decided to call it a night. They ate granola bars and drank water as they sat on top of the van Aaron drove. 

"Maybe I can do little hunting tomorrow. I can't live on this shit." Daryl said. 

Aaron just grinned. "Good first day though. Usually don't find signs 'a people like this till much later." His voice was sullen even though he was trying to relay good news. "I can take first watch. Won't be able to sleep anyway."

Daryl understood. "He's fine, Aaron. He's behind a wall with all the other good ones. We shouldn't have to worry. That's their job." 

"So you aren't thinking about Rick?"

"Well, fuck yah I'm thinking about him, but ain't nothing I can do about it right now, is there? Ain't worried 'bout him. He'll be fine. He'll just be pouty till I get back. And I'll just miss him till then." Then Daryl started feeling sulky. "Thanks for ruining my mood."

"Sorry, man. Here.." Aaron said pulling a folded piece of paper from his pocket.

" 'the hell is this?"

"Rick wanted me to give it to you when we settled in the first night. I'll take first watch. Go read your letter. You can sleep in the van."

His normal instinct would be to act tough, nonchalant and just stick the note in his pocket but he was literally salivating at the thought of words from Rick. He jumped off the roof and quietly got into the van.

He unfolded the note and realized he'd never seen Rick's handwriting before. It was manly. Like a doctor's or something. Daryl knew his own script looked like a 5th grader wrote it. God, even Rick's handwriting is sexy.

He turned on the flashlight and held the note as far from his face as he could, squinting. He should have taken Maggie up on her offer when she started noticing his close-up vision was going in the toilet. Still could shoot a deer from a quarter mile away but couldn't read a message from his lover that was right in his own hands. He started to sniffle, feeling ridiculous for these tears. Squinting harder and moving the page closer and further. He wallowed in self pity for a few more minutes and then got back out of the car and scrambled back up to Aaron with the note. 

"Did it make it worse or better?" Aaron asked.

"I don't know. I can't fucking read it. Maggie noticed me struggling with shit like that a while back and something about I'm near-sited cause I can see far or far-sited cause I can't see near or some shit that means no matter how far I hold this out I can't fucking read it. Shouldn't 'a been such a stubborn prick tellin her I didn't need fucking glasses."

Aaron shushed him and glanced around. Reminding him they had to be quiet and discrete.

"Do you want me to read it to you?" Aaron asked softly. 

Daryl's head was in his hands. He nodded and muttered "yes."

Aaron gently took the letter and read:

"Love,  
Please be safe. Keep your focus. Do whatever you have to do to come home to me safe. I'll be thinking about you every second of everyday, but you can't do the same. You need to stay aware. Once a day, when you know you are safe for the night, you can take out this letter and think about what you are coming home to. 

You can think about being curled up with me, my head on your chest. You can think about being inside me. Both of us panting so hard before we peak. You can think of the day in the garage when I took you in my mouth as I knelt before you, completely yours. Think of our first kiss and the passionate grinding to climax like teenagers that very first time. Then put the letter away. And focus on the present. Find the good and don't hesitate with the bad. Stay alive and keep Aaron alive. 

Come back to me. I love you.  
R."

Aaron kept his voice soft and read the whole letter, not even hesitating at the intimate parts. He just wanted to be able to give these words to his friend who was in desperate need of them. 

Daryl grabbed back for the paper, put it in his pocket and slipped back off the van and climbed back inside wordlessly.

His mind swirled with thoughts of Rick. He was hard as a rock even though Aaron's stupid voice was all wrong and shouldn't have been saying words that belonged to Rick. 

He tried to remember the letter and think of it with Rick's voice. It worked almost too good and he knew he needed some release to be able to sleep and concentrate the next day.

He opened the van door and started walking towards the woods. "Gotta take a piss" he muttered up to Aaron. 

"Wait. Do it here." Aaron instructed. 

"I ain't pissing in front of you. Got a jealous boyfriend. He'll kick your ass" Daryl muttered heart glowing from using the word boyfriend for the first time.

"Daryl" Aaron's voice was firm. He looked back.

"If I have to go home and tell Rick you got taken down by a walker because you stumbled into the woods to Jack off to his letter, he will quite literally kill me."

Daryl couldn't argue. He knew Aaron knew. "Well you're sure as shit not gonna watch me jack it." Daryl said defiantly. 

"Do it behind the van facing the open field. I'll watch in the other direction." And before Daryl walked over as instructed Aaron sheepishly added. "Then you keep a lookout for me. Eric left my note with the granola bars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next I'll bounce back to Rick's first day alone. Got some ideas about what Daryl and Aaron eventually find. Not fleshed out yet though, but I'm working on it.
> 
> Thanks for all the feedback and comments! It really helps keep me motivated and addicted to this story!!


	13. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl gets through his first day alone... Well, sort of alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not gonna lie. I hated this chapter. Just wanted to plow through it to get to Daryl and Aaron's discovery. My appologies if this sucks!

Rick sat alone with one cup of coffee in front of him and one empty cup in the dish drainer. The empty one got more of his attention. This was going to be way harder than he imagined. Normally he was the one out risking his life. And his family had to sit and wait and worry. Now he was on the other end. And it sucked. It absolutely sucked.

The doorbell rang and Rick made no move to answer it. But Alexandria residents being what they were, Rick heard the door open anyway.

"Hellloooo..."

It was Eric.

"Kitchen." Rick said 

"I come bearing muffins." Eric said enthusiastically.

"How are you so pleasant this morning? I feel like I wanna die." Rick said dull and monotone.

"Oh, honey. We've been through plenty if scares .,,before and after the end of he world...and he always comes back. Plus- let me tell you... If you think you've discovered fabulous sex already- just wait til you get the reunion sex. I'm just keeping focused on that. Got to."

Rick noticed that his last two words had lost the sing-songy tone.

Rick just sulked. Eric put a muffin on his plate. "Quit sulking and eat"

"Did Daryl make you promise to check on me?"

"Yup."

"Why?"

"Make sure you weren't sulking and that you ate."

"Are you like my babysitter?" 

"Nope- just in charge of sulking and food."

Rick took a sip of coffee and just tuned out.

"I can't leave til you eat that muffin, sugar" Eric sighed dramatically resting his chin in his hands.

"Why?"

"Daryl said he'd kick my ass if he finds out you weren't eating. Says you get like that. I'm pretty sure he's serious... Y'know about the ass-kicking... So you'd really be helping me out.."

Eric was cut off by the sound of the door opening. Michonne and Carl walked in. Carl grabbed an apple, plopped on the couch engrossed in a comic book. Michonne looked at Rick, still in his sweats hair still mashed to his head from sleep.

"You look like shit." She said and grabbed a chair starting to eating Rick's untouched muffin. 

Eric swatted at her. "Michonne! He's supposed to eat that."

"Oh- you on food duty?" She said completely serious and put the muffin back with two bites missing. 

Eric nodded. "What about you?" Eric said to the Samari.

"Sposed ta make sure he gets his ass to work and stays focused."

"I'm right here." Rick said. "I can hear you talking about me."

"Well at least I brought a muffin. He isn't even dressed for work yet. You're slacking." Eric said with playful snark.

"Rick-" she turned to face him. "Get READY FOR WORK" She said loud and slowly.

"Did he assign every single one of you tasks to baby me?" Rick asked getting agitated.

"No" Eric and Michonne said at the same time a little too emphatically.

"Carl?" Rick yelled into the living room.

"Sposed to make sure ya shower, dad." Then he lifted his eyes out of his book and looked over. "Which reminds me- go take a shower."

"Goddamnit. I'm a grown damn man I can take care of myself. I'm not freaking Judith...oh Jesus! Where's Judith?" He jumped out of his chair, grabbed his hair in his hands looking in circles. 

"Chill out. She stayed with us last night, remember?" Michonne said. "Can you please go get dressed?" 

"I want to see Judith first." and he marched right out the front door to the next house and went in without knocking. 

Abraham was dressed for work bouncing Judith on his knee. "Hey Rick. Was just about to bring her back over."

Rick scooped up his daughter and snuggled her to his head glaring at Abraham. 

"Is that all?"

"Is what all?"

"There's nothing else you are supposed to...like tell me?"

"uhhhh... have a nice day?" Abraham answered confused.

Rick walked back and forth a second and then headed back out the door. 

"Hey Rick," Abraham called after him "How about a beer tonight?"

Rick just looked at him suspicious and walked out the door with his daughter.

After a shower, leaving Judith back at Eric's, and heading to work to managing a few disagreements and a fist fight with Michonne, Rick returned home just as sullen as he was when he left. 

"Meet ya back at the house." Michonne said as he walked past it to pick up Judith. Surprised actually that no one was in charge of reminding him to pick up Judith.

He walked into Eric's. Knocking has just started becoming an inconvenience. Eric was sitting in the recliner with a book, Judith asleep in his arms. 

"Hey." Eric said quietly. "She just conked out finally. Wanna sit for a few and give her a little beauty sleep? Not that she needs it." He says running a finger down her soft cheek.

Rick sat. Just looked over at the two. Ran his hands through his hair and let his head fall back on the couch.

"Just gotta keep busy." Eric said. 

"This is agony, Eric." 

"I know it honey. The appocalypse is not for the faint of heart in many ways"

"I've never felt so alone in my life."

"Rick- you have two housefulls of family. And you have me."

Rick leaned forward, elbows on his knees. He knew he couldn't complain too much. Eric was going through the same thing. "How you do today?" he asked

"Not gonna lie. Cried a bit. Started a book. Can get lost in a book. It's a good way to pass the time. Ankle is feeling better so going to see Deanna tomorrow about how I can help around town. Gotta keep busy. YOU gotta keep busy." Eric said.

"Yah." Rick stood and reached for his girl. "Wanna get back home. Today sucked. Just want to go to bed." 

Eric nodded, understanding.

"There's soup in your fridge. Eat it please."

Rick nodded.

"See you tomorrow" Eric said.

Rick walked into his full house. Glenn and Maggie were playing checkers in the kitchen. Michonne and Carl were in the living room reading and chatting. Abraham was even over. He sat in the corner recliner with two open beers. 

"What are you doing here, Abraham?"

"The beers, remember?"

"I don't want one." Rick said nodding to them.

"Oh, these? These are mine. You can get one of your own if you want."

Rick looked head cocked to the side. 

"Got two hands." was Abraham's response. 

"I'm going to bed." He trudged upstairs to see a note on his door - 'Rick-Go eat that soup, damnit. Love, Eric'

He looked at Judith. She'd need fed too and he begrudgingly stomped back down the stairs. 

"I'm heatin' it up for ya." Maggie said

Glenn took Judy.

He knew everyone meant well. Knew Daryl meant well to cooridinate things so people would be all over him constantly. He just couldn't shake his worry. His memories of the bad people they've come across in the past. Just wanted Daryl back home.

That night, alone in bed, he couldn't sleep. Pillow's weren't comfortable. Bed was too big. He checked over on Judy, fast asleep. Thought maybe some air would help.

He tiptoed down the stairs and opened the front door.   
"Whatcha doin', Rick?" Abraham's voice boomed from the couch.

"What the fuck? You scared the shit outa me." It's 2 in the morning. Why aren't you in your own bed?"

"Exactly. It's 2 in the morning. Why aren't YOU in YOUR own bed?"

"So this is your job? Keep me in my room at night? Do you have any idea how stupid this all is? I broke up a fight today over a goddamn can of peaches. Most action all day was a fist fight between two 14 year-olds. Talked to a woman a few streets over that wanted to lodge a complaint cause the lawn wasn't mowed next door. THE LAWN WASN'T MOWED! Jesus, Abraham. We shouldn't be in here. We should be out there with Daryl. We aren't the kind of men to sit here and coddle these morons who worry over pineapples and pasta makers. We should be out there with Daryl." Rick paced as he shouted. Judith started to cry upstairs. "But what are we doin? trapped in these walls so I can dress up as a cop. And you can send a grown man to his room?"

"Not here to send you to yer room, Rick. Just to hand you this as needed." Abraham said and handed him a sheet of paper folded in half.

Rick took it. Stood over by the window for the moonlight and opened it. In very large scrawl that looked worse than Carl's was printed a short note that just said. 'Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone. I like to be there when you're stupid. I love you. - Daryl'

"Sorry, I'm a nosy son-of-a-bitch. Read it five minutes after he left it with me. He is always good at keeping things to the point." Abraham took it back. "Sorry. Need to keep it for next time."

Rick went back upstairs to his girl. Brought her in the bed with him and rocked her back to sleep. Joining her quiet sobs as they both fell asleep.


	14. Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Daryl find their first group of potential recruits, but what they find is truly mortifying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Remember- despite all my usual warm and fuzzies and occasional humor, we ARE in the zombie apocalypse with characters outside the safety of Alexandria. 
> 
> Aaron and Daryl finally find the group they've been scouting. If implied rape or graphic conversation about rape or abuse will bother you, please skip this chapter. You'll be able to pick up on things after the next one.

After four long days, Aaron and Daryl found the group they'd been tracking. They stood in the dark about a quarter mile away. Daryl with binocculars and Aaron with the listening device. 

"Four men and a kid, seems." Daryl said. "Can we hear from this distance?

Aaron shook his head. "Need to get a little closer. The breeze will help keep our movements pretty unnoticed." 

The men slowly moved closer. The camp fire looked enticing. The nights had really started getting cool. 

The men sat around the fire but the boy was by himself propped up by a tree. 

Peering into the binnoculars again Daryl said "Boy's tied up. Maybe 17. 18. Rope round his wrists. Got a black eye. Looks like hell. 

"What are ya thinkin?" Aaron asked.

"We get the kid. Others can't come back."

Aaron nodded. "So what's our play here?"

"We need to get a better sense of what we're dealing with. Four of them. Only two of us. Maybe once they go to sleep. Might have to just shoot 'em in their sleep. We startle the kid and they wake up it will be a world of shit."

"Just to play devil's advocate here. Cause, y'know... I don't want to be shooting the wrong people. What if they have him under control cause the kid lost it or something. Tried to hurt himself or one of the others."

Daryl handed Aaron the binnoculars. "Nah, kids bein' hurt. Trust me. I know.... like Eric knows. ... when someone is bein abused." 

"Right." Aaron nodded, remembering that Eric had told him about Daryl being beaten as a child during one of their earlier long talks.

The men stood their ground. Got bits and pieces of the conversation through the listening device.

They were clearly eating something they'd hunted. Daryl could smell th meat over the fire pit even at this distance.

"Well, I ain't wastin any food on him. We just use 'em till he's dead and we'll find another. We always find another." The tallest of the group said.

"Well, he doesn't suck dick fer shit so it's no loss to me that's what you want to do. Last one was way better and that loss is on Earl."

"Fuck you." The man who must have been Earl said. "Not my fault my cocks so big we couldn't stop the bleedin'. Didn't have any fight in 'im anyway."

"Well, this one's losin' fight too. They all do."

"Fuck, we're doin him a favor. Leave him for the walkers or take him with us. Gives him longer to live. We're like a charity for orphans 'an shit. Need an outlet in this world, right? Well, either need an outlet or you are the outlet, right kid?" Several of the others laughed.

The tall one got up and walked over, unbuckling his belt. "On your knees boy, I need 'ta get one off 'fore I turn in."

Daryl dropped the binocculars and started to run. Thought better of it and after a few steps he scrambled in the dark to load a bolt into his crossbow. 

"We gotta take 'em now, Aaron." Aaron had his gun out and aimed, already in synch with Daryl.

"Can't shoot the tall one. Too far away, might hit the boy." Aaron whispered.

The sound device that had dropped from Aaron's hands still pulled in the noise. 

"If ya weren't so shitty at suckin cock, kid, you wouldn't have to take it up the ass every time. And remember... any screamin gonna bring walkers." 

The man had his large hand pushed down in the middle of the boys back and was clearly already moving inside the young boy. The sound of sobs and grunting was maddening. 

Before Daryl could think, before he could communicate with Aaron. He lined up the shot for the tall man's head. He was still hovering over the boy whispering threats but then leaned back, hips moving like he was preparing to start full force and Aaron heard the woosh of the bolt leave the archer's crossbow, followed by the tall man collapsing on the boy. 

The three men at the fire jumped up, all armed moving quickly looking in all directions. "Another bolt before we give away our direction with guns" Aaron whispered. Daryl moved with a fierce quickness and took out the one called Earl. Aaron immediately put a bullet in the third. 

"You can't do this!" the last man yelled. "You... you.. You're gonna bring the walkers w'th all this noise. Aaron shot again, nailed the last one in the head. And as soon as they were silent they heard the distinctive moans and groans. They had drawn walkers. 

"Sounds like maybe half a dozen" Aaron said as they continued running to the boy who hadn't moved since the tall man collapsed. 

Daryl got there first. "You on walkers." Daryl instructed to Aaron as he started tugging the huge man off. "No, think with your head, Daryl- You have the quieter weapon. Let me get the kid" Daryl listened loaded his bow and circled the tree as the walkers got closer. Still couldn't see but hearing their direction.

"Kid. Need ya to help push him off. We aren't here to hurt you. We're here to help. You can trust us." Aaron said.

"I want to die. Leave. Let them have me." He chocked out on the heel of sobs.

Aaron heard the soft sound of the crossbow and a clean shot to a rotter's head. Daryl backed up. 

"You ain't got a fuckin choice kid. We ain't leavin ya. Now get the fuck up 'fore you kill us all". Daryl said bending down to help Aaron roll the man off. He quickly stood back up and took two more shots. One hit, one didn't. He threw the crossbow over one shoulder. "I'm stronger" he said to Aaron. "Use the hatchet." 

Daryl bent down and picked the kid up. Taller of a kid than he'd thought, threw him over his shoulder and both men started moving fast through the field to the van. It was a half-mile run. Daryl stayed close to Aaron as he swung and connected with 7, 8 then 9 walkers. "More 'en we thought" Aaron said as they cleared a path.

Daryl's breath was heavy. The kid weighed a ton and was like dead weight over his shoulder. They got to the van, still hearing walkers in their wake. Without talking, Aaron got in the drivers seat, Daryl got in the back with the kid and they left the bike behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this wasn't too difficult. Next chapter will remain in the van with Daryl and Aaron taking care of the boys wounds, and preparing him for the unfamiliar community they are bringing him too. Please stay with me. Rick and Daryl's reunion is coming soon and future plans involve the men working something out so they are no longer separated during recruiting sessions. I still have a lot more in my head for this.


	15. Broken but Breathing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl and Aaron drive home with the sole survivor from thier first recruiting run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: references about the sexual abuse of the boy they found are mentioned again.

Aaron drove in silence.

In the back, Daryl checked over the kid. Pulled his pants back up. Used the first aid kit to put some Neosporin on his cuts, the abrasions on his knees, the rope burns on his wrists. 

Kid was unconscious at the moment. Probably dehydrated and starved. Daryl rolled him, remembering one of the men talking about leaving "the last one" to die from blood loss. The back of his pants were clearly stained with dry blood, but nothing fresh. 

He petted his head in an effort to be reassuring and found that his hair was caked with dry cum. Daryl started to quietly weep. Took them too long. How much could they have spared him if they stayed on task and found him the first night.

He slipped up to the front and whispered to Aaron. Stop at that lake before going straight home. We gotta clean him up 'fore we parade the poor kid through the front gates.

"Yah. Yah" Aaron agreed keeping his eyes on the road.

Daryl opened a fresh bottle of water. Put some blankets under the boy's head to lift him higher.

"Hey, there. You need to wake up. Drink some water. You with us?" He refrained from any unnecessary touching, assuming that even the most basic attempts at consoling the boy would be unwelcome. Probably shouldn't have even touched his head.

"Can you hear me?" Daryl asked

The boy groaned. The black eye was swollen shut. Worse up close than through the binoculars. 

"Please not again." He murmured. 

"They're dead. No one will lay a hand on you ever again. Can you lean up and drink some water?"

The boy opened his one bloodshot eye. "What I gotta do for it?" He licked his dry lips clearly thirsty but hesitant. 

"Nothing." Daryl said "just drink it."

"Why?"

"So you don't die of dehydration."

"Why do you care if I die?" The kid asked completely perplexed.

"What's your name, son?" Daryl asked, purposely not using "kid" or "boy" as he remembered his attackers using those words. He remembered Hershal always calling him son. 

"Patrick."

"Well, Patrick- You're still alive. And I'm still alive. That right there gives us a lot in common. And gives us a vested interest in your welfare." Sounded like Rick's words, not Daryl's, he thinks as he says them. A pang in his chest at the thought of getting home. "Can you lean up and drink for me?"

Patrick watched him with his one open eye. Tensing as Daryl moved closer with the water. 

"Can you hold the bottle yourself?" Daryl asked quietly. The kid was so skinny. Bruises up and down both arms. Bad ones around the elbows. He tried to reach out but clearly wasn't going to be able to bend either arm without extreme discomfort.

"Here-" Daryl said moving closer "I ain't gonna touch ya. Just open your mouth and I'll hold the bottle for you, ok?" 

Patrick hesitantly did as he was told and daryl made sure he just poured small amounts at a time giving him a chance to swallow. He thought of feeding little ass-kicker. Couldn't wait to be home.

After getting half the bottle into him, Daryl reached for a granola bar. 

"When was the last time you've eaten?" 

"I dunno."

Daryl held the bar to his lips and he took a small bite and chewed slowly wincing as he did. The hunter noticed the bruises on both sides of his jaw.

"Hurt to chew?" Daryl asked

The boy nodded. 

"Do the best you can. Take small bites." Daryl coaxed him.

The boy was so beaten and broken, Daryl had to fight hard to keep a red hot rage out of his voice. He wished he'd have beaten the men to death with his bare hands instead of sparing them with a shot to the head. It was way more generosity than they deserved.

As the van slowed, Aaron called back "at the lake". He put it in park and looked back. "You wanna stay with him while I clear the area?"

Daryl nodded as he raised the water back to Patrick's chapped lips.

After a few minutes the back of the van opened and Aaron stood nodding wordlessly that they had some time. 

Patrick squinted. The sun had just started to rise.

"Hi Patrick. I'm Aaron. This is Daryl. Do you want to rinse off a little? Water might make you feel a little better. We got about ten miles to our community. It's safe there. Other boys your age too, women and children. Daryl's got a boy a little younger than you." Aaron said trying to make conversation.

Daryl realized he was talking about Rick's son- that Aaron had so accepted Daryl's and Rick's relationship, he didn't think it was a stretch to say it. And Daryl didn't think it was a stretch not correcting him. His heart softened thinking of his family.

"Carl." Daryl nodded. 

"I do want to wash off please" the boy croaked.

"Yah, yah". Both men reached in to help him move. He was so frail and for the first time Daryl wondered if he'd be able to survive the injuries. They walked him down to the bank, not sure how to help or if they should.  
"There will be hot showers when we get home and soap and shampoo, but just in case you know, you needed to..." Daryl could think of no tactful way to put it, "wanted to wash 'em off you."

The boy nodded.

"Can you not watch?" He asked quietly. 

"Oh, yah, fuck- sorry." Daryl stuttered and both men turned their backs.

They heard his cloths drop and heard him slowly step into the water. His movements were slow. It had to be cold but he made no complaints. After a few minutes of soft splashing sounds they heard his quiet sobs. 

"What is it? You ok?" Daryl asked turning around reflexively.

He was waist deep in the water and had his hands in his hair.

"I can't get it out of my hair." He sobbed. "It's never gonna come out. It's been like this for weeks." And his sobs turned into quick inhales and exhales. He started pulling at clumps of his hair trying to pull it out of his head.

"Wait, wait wait" Daryl said "gonna hurt yourself." He waded in fully clothed, pulling the knife from his belt.

The boy looked at the knife. "What I gotta do?" He asked as if Daryl was threatening him.

"I'm just here to help you ok? Not gonna hurt you. Swear. Can I come closer?"

"You have the knife. You can do whatever you want, can't you?" The boy answered hopeless.

Daryl walked closer and put a hand in the boys hair gently grabbed a clump and used his knife to slice it off and threw it off to the shore line. Clump by clump, Daryl sawed off chunks of crusted dry hair. 

The boy stood sill, face down, goosebumps jumping to his skin from the cold. 

He tugged on another knotted clump trying to get his knife under it. "Hurt ya?" Daryl asked stoping his movements.

"No, sir. Just get it out please."

Daryl continued. "No ones ever called me 'sir' in my life. Kinda like to keep it that way. Daryl ok?"

"Ok."

After most of his hair was sawed off, they both came out to the shore where Aaron waited for them. He wrapped a blanket around the kids shoulders to cover him and tossed another to Daryl. Daryl's jeans were dripping wet.

"Had an extra pair 'a underwear and a tshirt." He told the kid holding out he offering. "'Case ya don't want your old clothes."

Patrick looked down at the dirty, blood-caked, worn-out clothes he'd had on. He kicked them into the lake and took the clothes Aaron offered him.

"Dry off and you can go get dressed in the van, k?" Daryl said.

Patrick nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost back home to Rick. Stay tuned and please leave your thoughts, concerns and comments for me to reference as I continue to write. They are always welcome and quite helpful.


	16. Back home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl and Rick are finally back together.

Rick paced in Deanna's office as she listened patiently. 

"It's been 5 days. I've had time to really thinks bout it, Deanna, and sending out a group of just two is insane." After no interrupting he continued. "I...I.. I Am not helping you by dressing up like a cop just to make your people "feel safe". Your people aren't safe. None of us are!" His voice had started to get a little panicked in a way that those who knew Rick best were always familiar with.

Abraham, who had followed  
Rick over with Daryl's note in his hand, was slumped back in the recliner. He shook the paper to make Rick remember it existed.

"Rick," Deanna said in a soothing controlled voice. "We are safe here. You've just been out there too long to understand that there is a chance to re-establish society."

"Deanna- this isn't society. This isn't a job" he said gesturing to his uniform then ripping off the tin badge and pulling off his uniform jacket.

"Mother Dick." Abraham muttered shaking the note again. "I'm pretty sure a strip show is exactly the kind of stupid shit Daryl didn't want to miss here." And he pointed animatedly to the scrap of paper.

Rick ignored him. "This is a fucking day care and you are lucky you have us here to protect you. You are children." He emphasized the word children and continued to pace cocking his head like he tended to do before really loosing it.

"Moving forward." He said, "We go out in fours. Me, Daryl, Aaron and Abraham."

"Huh?" Abraham said.

Deanna's front door whipped open and Rick was interrupted before he could continue with his patented Rick Grimes confident-yet-teetering-on-crazy power speech.

Glenn, out of breath, turned to Rick. "They're back."

When Rick got to the gates he saw Eric and Aaron practically devouring each other. He was so eager to wrap his hands around Daryl. Kiss his lips. Taste him. Touch him. But as he rounded the corner he saw that his lover was carrying someone wrapped in a blanket. He knew the reunion could wait. He immediately went into protective, commanding mode.

"Hurt?" Rick said jogging over to them. 

"Yah- get Maggie, Rosita- he needs to be checked out."

"I can get that doctor...umm... Pete?"

"No. Don't like that guy. No men. Just get the girls. Kid's  
Gonna stay at our house."

"Ok" Rick asked no more questions and took off to find Rosita. "Get Maggie to our house" he yelled to Glenn.

\-----

When Rick came back with Rosita, Glenn and Daryl were waiting in the living room. Daryl pointed upstairs. "Carl's room". 

Rosita turned and took the stairs two at a time with her medic bag on her shoulder.

Daryl stood and walked to Rick and they embraced. Daryl's head just dropped onto Rick's shoulder, exhausted. They melted into each other. Neither of them had words. 

"I'm going to....go..to...um... Fuck it-I'm gust going. Tell Mags I'll be next door." Glenn said, allowing his friends some time to reunite.

Finally alone, Rick held Daryl so tight, wanting so badly to kiss him. Rip his clothes off right there in the living room. But he knew his lover too well. He was wounded. Not physically but he had a devastating trip. His shoulders sagged heavy. His hands pulled Rick close, but his head stayed buried in the crook of his lover's neck. 

Rick knew not to pepper him with questions. Knew not to make any demands or push anything. He just needed time before he'd be able to figure out his words.

They shared several long minutes of comforting silence.

"He's really beat ta shit, Rick. Not sure he'll be able to bounce back. Don't know if we got there soon enough."

"You got there. Brought him back. That's a good thang." Rick whispered. 

Daryl finally looked up at Rick. "Fucking Christ I missed you so much" the hunter said. He held Rick's head in his hands and kissed him passionately. Rick opened his mouth in eager response. 

A subtle cough made them break apart. It was Maggie. The men stopped their kiss but continued to tightly hold hands.

"Someone should stay with him. All the time. Rosita is with him now. Think all the bruising and cuts will heal but, he's pretty messed up, y'know. What we could get out of his short conversation and a look at his wounds... he was brutally raped like 5 times a day for what could have been months. He's malnourished. Dehydrated. Gotta make sure we keep getting food and water into him."

Rick's jaw hung open. "Jesus"

"Shot the one fucker while he was in 'im. Poor fucking kid." Daryl said.

Rick started rubbing Daryl's back. Knew he was gonna be haunted about it. "We'll take four hour shifts. Daryl and I will do the next two. "

Maggie shook her head. "No- Daryl you need rest. Rick you can relieve Rosita and then I'll be back to take next. 

Daryl just nodded without a fight. As she turned to leave Daryl said, in a totally deflated voice, "Mags- c'n ya get me those fuckin' reading glasses?"

She smiled and nodded before she walked out the door.

"Could you not read me letter?" Rick asked in a sad pout.

"I had to get fucking Aaron to read it to me. You write so damn tiny."

Rick's face went crimson as he thought back to what he wrote. "Oh my god..."

"You think your embarrassed? He had to stand guard out there for me while I jacked off after." Daryl laughed trying to lighten the mood a bit. 

He pulled the note out of his pocket And dragged Rick down onto the couch. He snuggled up to his lover. "Can you read it to me? I gotta wash Aaron's stupid voice outa my head. I wanna hear your voice."

Rick kissed him. His heart was pounding. He loved this man much.

As Rick unfolded the letter Daryl said "Hey, before we go to bed I want to check on Patrick. Come in with me so you can meet him before you have to be in there alone on watch, ok? He needs to know you aren't gonna hurt 'im." 

Rick nodded "yah, ok"

"Maybe you can wear your stupid uniform. Make him see you as a good guy and a protector, y'know." Daryl looked over to Rick expecting a nod of agreement but saw it in his eyes. 

"Um... I don't have that anymore..."

"Rick." Daryl said in a scolding-your-child tone of voice. "Did you do something stupid while I was gone?"

Rick shook his head no, but the guilt in his eyes gave him away.

"Fucking Abraham." Daryl muttered. He leaned back into Rick. "We'll talk about it later. Read."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry no good juicy stuff yet in this chapter! Plot and fluff mostly. But still lots more to come! As always, I'd love to hear your comments, criticisms and thoughts!


	17. Life continues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick and Daryl take a shift to watch over Patrick. Daryl gets up to date on everything he missed while out on his trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been forever since I updated but I got sucked into one of my other stories and wrote 13 straight chapters on that one. (If anyone is interested- it's called "Always been that way". It's also Rickyl - but more serious D/s with Daryl as the sub.)

Rick kissed Daryl's forehead to wake him. He'd fallen asleep in Rick's arms after the third time he asked Rick to re-read the letter. He must have been exhausted.

"Rosita's going home. You want to take me up? Introduce me?

"Yah" Daryl wiped the sleep from his eyes. Saw Rosita and nodded. "He ok"?

"Not sleeping well. Lots of nightmares. Try not to wake him though even though you'll feel like you want to. His body needs the rest. Whenever he does wake, he woke a few times for me, try to get him to drink. I just gave him another pain killer. You won't need to give him anything. Mags will handle his next dose on her shift."

"Got it" Rick said.

Once upstairs, Daryl had shaken the sleep completely away. 

"I'm guessing he's gonna have a permanent aversion to men... Strangers. So- don't hover over him, and like talk soft and stuff like that, ok?"

Rick nodded.

Daryl knocked quietly, "Patrick? It's Daryl, I'm coming in with a friend of mine, ok?"

The men entered and Daryl pointed Rick to a chair. Rick sat. Daryl knelt by the bed. Patrick's good eye was open. "Member me?" Daryl asked softly?

"Yes" Patrick answered. His voice was still dry and raspy. "Don't call you sir." The kid continued.

Daryl smiled "yah right. That's me."

"Thanks for saving me." 

"Your welcome. Thanks for fighting so hard to stay alive all this time. Makes me look like a hero bringing home survivors."

Patrick tried to smile. "Rosita and Maggie are nice."

"They are." Daryl said. "And this here's my friend Rick. He's one of the good guys." Patrick moved his head to look at Rick but didn't say anything. 

Daryl whispered, even though he knew Rick would hear "are you scared of him?"

Patrick nodded. 

"Are you scared of me?"

The boy shook his head no.

"Well, Rick here is my very best friend. I wouldn't pick a bad guy to be my best friend. And I wouldn't pull you outa that shit just to put you back into more shit. I swear to you. Rick's good. A better man than me ...and you think I'm awesome, right.

Patrick smiled. 

"We want to keep someone in here round the clock for a while to make sure your ok. Rick was gonna stay for a few hours. That be ok?" Daryl asked.

Patrick licked his dry lips and Daryl remembered about the water. Leaned forward with a glass and helped him get some down.

"Can you stay too?" Patrick asked. 

"Yah. I can stay."   
\------  
When Maggie came for her shift at dawn, Daryl was asleep on the floor and Rick was sitting attentively in the chair.

"Why idn't he sleepin' in a damn bed in his own room?" She whispered more for the boys sake than Daryl's. 

"Kid wasn't comfortable with a strange man here. Rick stood. Woke a couple times and I helped him get some water down. Not much else to report. "

"Well, yer off the clock, now go take him to bed."

"Gladly!" Rick said with a grin. 

Maggie rolled her eyes.

Daryl and Rick heard a lot of hustle and bustle downstairs on their way to the bedroom and decided they might as well just start their day. 

Glenn and Michonne were doing dishes. Rosita and Abraham were in the kitchen eating. Carl looked up from his comic book and ran to hug Daryl. "I'm so glad you're back!" The hunter patted him on the back. 

"Me too."

As Carl returned to the table and his comic book he said "Dad is unbearable when you aren't around"

As Rick poured coffee he looked over "I wish you people would talk about me behind my back instead of when I'm standing right here."

"Don't worry, we do that too." Abraham said with his mouth full.

"What are you guys doing here, don't ya have a kitchen of your own in the other house?" Rick said to Abraham and Rosita.

"She wanted to be nearby for the boy and I'm here to report to Daryl about all the stupid shit ya did while he was gone."

Daryl swung a kitchen chair backwards. Straddled it, leaned his arms onto the chairback and raptly looked at Abraham. "Go on..." Daryl said.

"I can't believe this" Rick said, slamming a cup of coffee in front of his lover and taking a first sip of his own as he leaned against the counter.

"Well, I'll just give ya the highlights. He quit being the constable by stripping off his cop gear in front of Deanna..."

"I missed a fucking strip show?" Daryl interrupted.

Abraham looked up at Rick "told ya he'd be pissed about that." Then looking back at Daryl he continued "told her that Alexandrians were a bunch of children and we were like babysitters or some shit and that from now on he wants four man teams instead of two. Put his foot down adamant about it. You, him, Aaron and me."

Daryl looked up at Rick. Rosita stood, finished eating, punched Rick in the shoulder and said "Thanks, dick. Now I'LL have to wait and worry!" And she headed to the stairs to check on the patient.

Daryl stood up. "Well, I'm sure that was just the highlight reel. Rick usually needs a good half-hour of lecture before a build-up to something like... basically taking control."

"Yah" Abraham said chewing again. "Ya know it was the whole intense Rick Grimes soliloquy." 

Rick just shook his head. 

"Where's my little girl? He asked.

"Other house with Eugene." Michonne said. We didn't want her crying to disturb the boy. 

"I'm gonna go love on her some."' Daryl said and stood. Looking at Rick he gave a sarcastic frown. "YOU are in big trouble when I get back." And he winked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will contain reunion sex and smut. I promise!


	18. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick and Daryl finally get around to the reunion sex. (Feels like it's been about six months, doesn't it?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's been six months since I've left this fic abandoned and I think I wrote like 25 other fics in that span of time. I have no idea why I lost my way with this one but thanks to AmericanZombiePsycho for her very stern comments requesting this to be finished... and thanks to my own guilt over it... I will be finishing! 
> 
> If you have to go back and read from the start because you don't remember it well enough, please bear in mind, that this was one of my first fics ever and I didn't have my beta yet! So everything pretty much sucks. Sincere apologies for neglecting this so long. Any of you who read me frequently know that I now finish fics before I post anything. So I have learned my lesson. 
> 
> My plan here is to give you this chapter today. And I'm hopeful that the story will be finished within the week. I'm anticipating maybe two or three more chapters and Skarlatha is on me to stay on task and finish this sucker. 
> 
> Which reminds me ... thanks to Skarlatha for reading this whole fic TWICE during the two times I told her I was "totally gonna finish it". This chapter... actually HAS been beta'd cause now I have my Skari. :-)

After Daryl spent some quality time with Judith playing peek-a-boo, checking for teeth and playing with her tiny little toes, he walked out onto the Alexandria streets directly into Deanna. 

“Daryl,” she said with a pleased smile, “Aaron told me how great a job you did on the recruiting run.”

Daryl shrugged his shoulders. He was never great at accepting compliments. He stood awkwardly for a few moments.

“Any chance I can get you to convince Rick to come back to work?”

Daryl ran a hand through his hair. “Oh, yeah. Heard about that. Sorry.” He looked up to the next house where Rick was probably still at the kitchen table. “He’ll be back today to get his uniform. I promise,” Daryl answered confidently. 

“Good,” Deanna said. “Tell him I’ll see him later.” 

When Daryl walked back into the house, everyone else had dispersed and Rick was sitting alone still working on his coffee. He looked up with guilt in his eyes. "Ya gonna yell at me?" he asked. 

"Nah, not yet. Would like to take you upstairs and show you how much I missed ya first, though," Daryl said affectionately. He pulled Rick up out of the chair and wrapped arms around him. “But THEN I’m gonna yell at ya and you’re gonna listen. Deal?”

“Deal,” Rick said as he leaned in to the hunter’s soft lips. They stood in the kitchen kissing hungrily, hands slowly stroking biceps, moving up into hair, gripping tightly with need.

“Where’d everyone go?” Daryl asked during a breath from Rick’s warm, delicate mouth.

“Don’t matter. Maggie is up with Patrick. But the bedroom down here is empty and there’s a lock on the door.” Rick walked backwards, pulling Daryl with him to the room that Michonne had been using. Once inside, Rick swung a hip to push the door shut and reached back to twist the lock without looking. 

Daryl pulled off Rick’s shirt and started to unbuckle and unzip him as the leader kicked off his shoes. They paused a moment to kiss before the undressing continued. Rick stepped out of his pants while Daryl shed all of his clothing with the same speed as one of those naked chick pens that has clothing disappear when it’s face down.

Both bare and hard they moved as one, wrapped back in one another’s arms towards the bed and fell into it with a soft simultaneous grunt.

“God I missed you. Missed the feel of you. Bein’ with you,” Daryl murmured against Rick’s neck. He kissed along Rick’s collarbone then licked a line up to his earlobe and sucked it into his mouth. Rick groaned loudly and bucked his hips upward, searching for friction against Daryl’s hot, hard cock.

“Can’t function without you, Daryl. God, I can’t. I don’t know how we did this before. Stood so close and looked to each other and touched innocently and never just …. just… fucking did this.” Rick reached a hand down and grabbed onto Daryl’s ass, encouraging the hunter to thrust against him. “Need you in me, Daryl. Need it.” Rick’s voice was husky and deep, dripping with need.

“Forgot the lube,” Daryl mumbled as he sucked a purple-blue mark into the crook of Rick’s neck.

“Use spit, I’ll live,” Rick moaned, arching his back off the bed so their chests touched and their cocks rubbed together again. 

“Damn, Rick. When did you become so sex-starved?” Daryl smirked. 

“When ya started fucking me and then left out the gates for weeks,” he pouted.

“Was days,” Daryl said, moving a hand down to Rick’s cock and gently stroking it. 

“Felt like weeks.” Rick wrapped a hand around Daryl’s length and used pre-come to get a good slide to his stroke. He grabbed the hand that Daryl was using on him and held it in his own, then held their cocks tight in one hand, stroking both together. 

“How’d ya come up with this one?” Daryl asked, eyes blowing out round and black.

“I’m inventive.” Rick smirked and held Daryl’s eyes as he stroked them both, whimpers coming from each of them. Daryl held Rick’s one hand tight and had the other holding his weight up as Rick sped up the strokes. Rick kept his eyes locked onto Daryl’s, well-aware that he looked completely vulnerable. Completely Daryl’s. “I love you,” he whispered. Daryl felt the tightness of a pending orgasm swell up inside him at Rick’s words and the sincerity of his voice when he spoke them. He groaned, eyes wide in surprise that just whispered words from this man could have such a physical and profound effect on him. He threw his head back, murmuring Rick’s name and shot a streak of white across his lover’s stomach and chest. Daryl pulled his spent cock out of Rick’s hand and put his own hand overtop of his lover’s. The hunter controlled Rick’s hand against himself as he pumped, groaning and so close.

“You gonna come ‘f I say it too?” Daryl grinned.

“So close,” Rick mumbled.

Daryl leaned his head close to Rick’s and whispered soft to his ear. “I love you. You are all there is. All there is for me. Do anything for you, Rick. Anything.”

And at that Rick finally gasped and shook with release, spraying his own seed across his chest, lines intersecting with the one’s Daryl left just a moment earlier. 

As they lay beside each other catching breaths, Rick grabbed Daryl’s hand again to hold on to it. 

“I’d do anything for you too, you know,” he said turning to face his lover.

“You would?” Daryl asked, plotting his next move.

“Anything,” Rick answered, still in a post-orgasm high.

“Then go back to Deanna’s, get your uniform and get back to work.”

Rick rolled his eyes and sighed. “Daryl, I don’t know if…”

“Rick. This town is where we live. It’s where your kids live. Gotta give back, y’know? And being a cop, keeping the peace… it’s what you do, man. Know I was hesitant when you were back in uniform, but I just worried then that you’d forget about me. Now that I know you won’t… I NEED you back in that uniform,” Daryl said with a wink and an adorable smirk. 

“Fine,” Rick said with a pout, trying not to smile back. “But I want it noted that I disagree with the need to keep going out into danger to bring more people back. We need to concentrate on what we have right now. We aren’t there yet. Aren’t ready to be tryin’ to save the whole damn world.” 

Daryl rolled over and kissed Rick’s forehead. “Didn’t peg you for the pouty type.”

“Didn’t peg you for using sex to get me to, like, do stuff.” 

Daryl shrugged. “I don’t know much about relationships, but isn’t that the kind of shit that happens?” Rick laughed against Daryl’s lips and leaned closer to kiss him fully. When he pulled away he could sense Daryl’s awkwardness returning. 

“You know this was just for this, right?” Daryl asked, gesturing between them. “The getting back to work thing is a separate thing. Ain’t really like using sex on ya or nothin’.”

Rick smiled. It was so cute that he couldn’t let the joke lie. He needed to make sure he was understood. “I know, baby.”

“Good,” Daryl said. “Let’s get dressed, I’ll walk ya over.”

The hunter flung his legs over the bed, got up and grabbed a towel that Michonne had on the dresser and wiped Rick’s stomach off.

“Think Michonne’s gonna be pissed that we came all over her room?” Rick asked.

“I think she will be,” Michonne’s voice boomed through the locked door. 

Rick and Daryl nearly fell over themselves getting dressed, smoothing down sex-mussed hair and trying to find a place to subtly tuck the seed-soaked towel.

Daryl unlocked the door and swung it open. “Really? LISTENING to us?” 

She waved a hand to brush it off. “Relax, Casanova, I just got here. Did you at least clean up after yourselves or am I gonna find an unfortunate surprise later?”

Rick’s hands kept the soiled towel behind his back. “‘S all clear. Promise,” he said, still flushed red from being caught. 

“I was here long enough to know that I can now take a shift off patrol.” She looked at the bed then back at the two of them. “I’m gonna nap on the couch. Rick, you’re on duty. Deanna was totally expecting you to come back today.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... is anyone still reading this? Do you want to yell at me for letting it sit too long? I can take it! Drop me a note! :-)


	19. Comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised... I'm getting this thing done! 
> 
> Thanks to [ for beta'ing. (But if you are re-reading any of this, please note that the first 17 chapters were NOT beta'd and are filled with my awful mistakes!](http://archiveofourown.org/users/skarlatha/pseuds/skarlatha)

It had been three days since Daryl and Aaron returned with Patrick in tow. Three days of round-the-clock shifts to watch over him. Now it was commonplace that the four-hour shifts were made up of two people. Daryl insisted on that, because the kid hadn’t been doing great. He wasn’t able to keep food down and that just dehydrated him even more. Sometimes it took two people to help when he was vomiting. One to steady him and one to hold the bucket. And he’d gotten weaker on his feet, requiring someone on each side on the rare trips to the bathroom. 

He was terribly malnourished and Maggie had privately shared with Rick that she worried some of the bruises were from internal bleeding that hadn’t stopped. Daryl had become very “mother hen” about Patrick. Rick knew the hunter was good with Carl and Judith. Better than good, really. Took to them like one of those animals that mamma’s to another species just because the young ones need it. But with Patrick, it was like a mission. Like Abraham’s mission to get to DC. Or Rick’s mission to hold the prison.

Rick had been back on patrol, busting up the same stupid fights and settling the same arguments that he was the week before, but he tried to think about it Daryl’s terms. This was their home and Rick was there to keep the peace. Everyone had a job, and this was his. Each day after work he’d have some time with the kids and the rest of the family before he and Daryl would take their shift with Patrick. 

That night as they all sat around the dinner table, it was painfully obvious that the entire extended family was trying desperately to keep the conversation light and off of Patrick’s progress, not wanting to talk about it around the hunter. Daryl focused on Judith, feeding her smushed green beans and making everyone clap for her when she ate them. Rosita shot eyes to Rick while the attention was on the baby. 

“He ain’t doing good, Rick,” she whispered.

Rick nodded wordlessly and pushed the food around on his plate. He’d lost his appetite. He knew if anything happened to that kid, Daryl would break. They’d be on shift shortly and Rick was plotting ways to get the kid to drink. If it was just small, tiny sips at a time maybe that would help? Were they trying to make him guzzle too much at once?

“Rick, Rick…” Daryl’s voice pulled the leader out of his daze. 

He looked over and smiled. “Yeah?” 

“Can I give her a little of this squirrel you think? Just a little bite? Mushed up?” 

The hunter was so eager to be her provider. Judith had him wrapped around her finger. Rick nodded. “Yeah, I ‘spose she can gum at just a tiny little taste.”

Daryl beamed and tore off a piece so small she’d probably barely know it was in her mouth. She scrunched up her face for a second and then swallowed and laughed. 

“She likes it!! I’m gonna be your favorite, lil’ one. Git ya all the squirrel you want, but damn girl… you got to grow some teeth!” He turned to the group? “When are teeth? Do you think she’s late? Like maybe she ain’t getting the right nutrients or somethin’?”

“Don’t panic, Papa Dixon, I think she’s right on schedule,” Rosita said.

After dinner Rick heated some broth and had a renewed hope of getting something into the kid. They met Maggie and Glenn at the hall door for an update. “Couldn’t get him to keep anything down,” Maggie whispered. “He’s weak.” 

Daryl bit at his thumb and looked towards Rick with worry. 

“We’re gonna try some broth and just small sips,” Rick said confidently. Daryl smiled. Rick always knew what to do.

When they walked in, the room was dark and Patrick was so thin against the bed that it barely looked like anyone was laying in it. Rick set the broth on the dresser and sat in the chair while Daryl knelt down by the bed like he did at the start of every visit. 

“‘S me. How ya feeling, buddy?” Daryl put a hand to his forehead, a move he learned by watching Rick with Judith. The kid was warm. Flushed. His hair was damp with sweat.

“Hi,” the kid said weakly. 

“Heard y’ain’t been able to keep much down,” Daryl said sympathetically. 

 

“M sorry.” 

Daryl smiled. “Don’t be. Food here’s shit.” Rick laughed softly behind him. “Got some broth though that Rick made for ya. You up for trying a little sip?”

“Maybe later,” Patrick whispered, voice small and still mostly just rasp. 

“Ok, no problem. Need help to the bathroom or anything?” 

Patrick shook his head. “Tired.” 

Daryl nodded. “Go ahead, get some rest.” Patrick closed his eyes and his tiny frame moved with the pattern of sleeping breath instantly.

Daryl backed up and sat on the floor leaning against Rick’s legs. He bit on his lip. Nervous but not. This kid couldn’t die. Why would the fates have led him and Aaron to the boy if his number was already up? Daryl wouldn’t believe it. Rick raked fingers through his hair and Daryl leaned back into it. They sat like that for four whole hours. The only exception was the two or three times, Daryl thought Patrick’s chest wasn’t moving and rushed over to check him. He never woke on their shift, but he still breathed. 

When they went to bed that night, Abraham and Rosita relieving them from their shift, Daryl curled into Rick like a child. Judith was already asleep in the makeshift crib. The leader held Daryl tight and stroked his back. He’d had soothing hands on him all night and Daryl knew why. Rick was comforting him. Preparing him for the worst. 

“You think he ain’t gonna make it,” Daryl said softly in the moonlit room.

“He’s in rough shape, Daryl. Nothin’ you did wrong. You pulled him out of hell and you got him resting comfortably.”

Daryl sat up and pulled away from Rick’s touch. “You really do. You think he’s dying.”

“I don’t know what’s gonna happen, baby. None of us do. All we can do is take it one day at a time.”

Daryl’s eyes looked hollow. Empty. Hopeless. Just plain sad. Rick opened his arm and encouraged Daryl to tuck back into him and he did. Rick kissed the top of his head. “I love you,” he whispered.

_____________________________________________

The next morning, Rick woke before Daryl and slipped out of bed to get two cups of coffee. He wasn’t the first one in the house up because the coffee pot was already going. He was still waiting for it to finish when Abraham walked slowly into the kitchen with a hand rubbing over his closely cropped hair.

“You know I still expect you to pull out that note and tell me not to do anything stupid every time I see you?” Rick laughed. Abraham did not. Rick sobered quickly and darted eyes back up the stairs.

“Didn’t make it through the night, man,” Abraham said, voice a heavy kind of grief that he didn’t often use. “Stopped breathing. Rosita tried CPR and wouldn’t stop til his eyes shot open. Turned. I had to put a knife in him.”

“Shit,” Rick responded.

“You might wanna go tell Daryl. Think he’s gonna take it pretty hard. Mags went down the road to tell Aaron and Eric. But Daryl…. He’s been really invested, man.”

“Yeah. He’s gonna take it as a personal failure, that’s for sure,” Rick said as he poured the coffee, an act that seemed so completely pointless now. He pushed a cup to Abraham, let the other sit and headed back up the stairs. 

Daryl was still asleep, a light snore filling the room as Rick stepped in. He crawled back into the bed and as he did, his lover stirred and turned towards him, tucking back into his arm.

“You wake up before me?” Daryl said with a gruff morning voice.

“First time for everything,” Rick responded softly. 

The hunter sat up and rubbed sleep from his eyes moving out of habit directly towards Judy.

“She ain’t awake yet, leave ‘er be a minute,” Rick said, sympathy already thick in his voice. Daryl looked him in the eyes and squinted, reading him. He’s always been able to read him. And he still could. Rick didn’t have to say a word.

“When?” Daryl asked.

“Last night.”

“How?”

“Just stopped breathing, baby. Rosita worked on him for quite a while before Abraham had to put him down,” Rick reached out a hand and rested it on Daryl’s knee, wondering if the hunter would respond with anger like the earliest days of the apocalypse or would be more solemn like he was after Beth.

The hunter stood. “Gotta dig a grave. You got Judy this morning?”

Rick blinked. “Yeah, man. I’ll get her situated and come out and help.” Rick was surprised at the blankness of Daryl’s response. Worried, actually.

“Don’t have to,” he said. “Play with your kids.” He pulled on jeans and was walking out the door before his shirt was even all the way on. 

__________________________________________________

Daryl saw Maggie and Rosita both at the door to the room Patrick was in. They looked at him with empathetic eyes, but their bodies blocked the door. “Move,” Daryl said gruffly. “I already know. Want a moment, ok?” 

“Sorry, Daryl,” Maggie said as both women moved to allow him entrance. “You gave him a comfortable and peaceful few days at the end. It ain’t for nothing.”

Daryl flung the door shut behind him without a response. He dragged the chair up to the bedside and sat. A careful knife wound dripped blood from his temple. He was pale. Bright white, other than the stark blues and purples that covered more of him than Daryl had even realized when he was trying not to stare.

He dropped his head. “I’m so sorry, buddy. I wish I could have gotten to you sooner. Ain’t right. Just ain’t right what happened to you.” He stifled a sob. He hadn’t really cried since his brother died, and this was a stranger. Did he deserve tears? When Beth barely got them. Hershel. Tyreese. Andrea. T-Dog. He didn’t spare any of them a single drop. He felt the tickle of a tear escaping and cursed himself, rubbing a fist rough against his eye. 

He’d been in that field watching less than a week ago. Knowing the body language of someone being abused, being hurt. Tortured. Daryl survived it from his childhood. Been beaten so bad he’s marked for life. Not to mention all the bruises and cuts that disappeared over time. If only one of them could have survived it should have been Patrick. He was a kid. Barely older than Carl. Daryl felt guilty even to breathe. 

The door squeaked open behind him and he swirled around ready to growl at Maggie, but when he saw it was Rick he felt the hot swell of tears in his eyes again. This kid could've been Carl. If things didn't all go the way they had, the groups of them finding their way back together. Carl managing to get to his dad before the fall of the prison. This easily could had been Carl. Dead. Because Daryl couldn't get there fast enough.

Rick cocked his head at his lover. "Let's go find him a nice spot, ok. Got a couple shovels and Eric came by to take Judith for the day.” 

"Said I could do it myself," Daryl croaked, trying to hide his sadness behind a fake anger towards the leader.

"I know what you said. Ain't gonna let this break you. Let's do this together so I can be with you." Rick said softly, affectionately, so sweetly that it did make Daryl want to climb into him and hide forever.

"Don't need a babysitter," he said still trying to keep a hard grit in his tone.

"Not babysitting you. This is what lovers do. They stick even closer when life gets tough. And in this life, we are gonna see more tough than this." Rick walked the rest of the way into the room and put a hand on Daryl's shoulder as they both looked at Patrick's small, lifeless body.

“It’s awful,” Rick said. “Awful what happened to this kid. But we can’t save everyone, Daryl. You let him see goodness in his last days. Don’t think that’s nothing.”

Daryl put his head to his hands and wept, unfamiliar with the feeling of comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably one more chapter to go. Thanks to everyone who came back to this. And again- I sincerely apologize for leaving it abandoned so long!


	20. What Happens Next

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to [Skarlatha](http://archiveofourown.org/users/skarlatha/pseuds/skarlatha) for making the last few chapters less typo'd than the earlier ones!
> 
> And thanks to everyone who kept sending me nudges to finish!

After the body was in the ground, conversations were had and decisions were made. Deanna, Rick, Michonne and Maggie met for hours and decided that focus needed to be kept more on the town then on grander plans of bringing in other survivors. It was not an easy decision. So many of them had, at one time or another, been outside those walls. Desperate and discouraged. But there were enough problems inside.

Rick had also made a strong case on the danger to scouters. If Aaron and Daryl had been outnumbered, the end result of that mission could have been a hell of a lot worse than losing just Patrick.

Another factor in their decision was what Aaron and Daryl had found outside the walls during a hunt that previous day. Walkers with letters etched into their foreheads and graffiti that hadn't been there a month ago. It was time to prepare for other potential dangers and play defense instead of offense. At least for a while.

As they waited for the leaders to finish the meeting, Daryl sat on the porch, Judith on his lap and Carl across from him at a checkerboard.

"King me," Carl said with a smug smile. The result of the game was already a foregone conclusion and nearing his third loss in a row, Daryl hoped Carl secretly wondered if the hunter was just letting him win. His mind was elsewhere. Partly still on Patrick. Partly on Rick, because anymore, it was always partly on Rick. And partly on the meeting that Rick was attending.  
Daryl made his move on the board then sat back and watched Carl jump every last one of his red pieces.

"I let you win sometimes, y'know?" Daryl said, the expression clear on his face that he didn't.

"I know that's a lie because I was trying to let you win that one and it still didn't work!"

Daryl laughed as he tugged at Judy's stuffed giraffe, the little girl tugging back and giggling.

Carl was packing up the checkers as Daryl noticed Rick, Michonne and Maggie walking back over from Deanna's. Daryl handed Judith to Carl. "Can ya' take 'er in and read her some stories?"

Carl looked over to his father approaching. "I'm old enough to be in on adult conversations," he insisted with a child-like whine that indicated otherwise.

"Well, she ain't." Daryl responded as he handed Judy over. "We'll all get caught up at dinner, just give me a few, ok?"

"God. Come on, dad, I..." Carl flustered and blushed a bit at his inadvertent wording. "I mean Daryl. Nevermind anyway. I'm gonna read her my comic books." He stormed off with a pout and Daryl wondered how dopey his smile looked at Carl accidentally calling him dad. He cared for these kids like they were his own. Felt like they were kin. But until now he wasn't sure how they saw him. His role. His meaning in their life. He had a feeling in his chest he wasn't familiar with. Sort of like the feelings he got now from loving Rick. But slightly different. Like a warm completeness he's never known.

Rick was the first one to hit the porch steps and he met Daryl's eyes. "In agreement. Focus stays here." Daryl nodded as Michonne and Maggie walked past after brief greetings into their shared home.

Just Rick and Daryl remained on the porch. The sun was setting and the sound of pots and pans started clanging out from the kitchen.

"Tell 'em 'bout what Aaron and I seen?"

"Yup. We'll meet again tomorrow to talk about it. You and Aaron will come."

Daryl nodded, "Yeah, ok." The hunter had been worried about these 'Wolves'. Didn't want them near Carl, Judith or Rick. Or the rest of their extended family. But his level of loyalty to the Grimes' specifically was through the roof even before he was sleeping with the patriarch. He could see nothing he wouldn't do to protect them. They were his priority. His mission. The reason he lived instead of Patrick. The evolution of that thought over the course of the past few days had eased the hunter's guilt over being alive in a world where an innocent kid like Patrick suffered and died.

“You been distant,” Rick said, his head cocking to the side with interest as he leaned against the porch post.

“Nah. Been fine.”

“I know you, Daryl. Better than anyone probably ever has. Know you’ve got your mind bogged down with shit that probably ain’t worth dwellin’ on. Talk to me about it. I can help."

“Why’s it bother you, Rick? How I’m feeling?”

“Because I’m in love with you. And time is short. We could be cuddled up in bed this time next week or we could be at war with a bunch of nut jobs in the forest. Or overrun by walkers. Or sick again like the prison. Things are different in the apocalypse. You don’t just let someone you love wallow in misery alone. No time for that. Not in this world.”

Daryl bit at a nail. It all seemed to have happened so fast, yet at the same time he felt like the two had been in love for years. Probably had. Just no time outside the walls for anything to happen. As much as the hunter hated the claustrophobic confines of those walls, he welcomed them, at least for Carl and Judith's sake. But now... He was glad of them selfishly as well. Glad they gave him Rick this way. A way where Daryl got his comfort and love. And where he could give it back.

"Yeah. I actually think I feel better already," the hunter said as he leaned into Rick and slipped arms around him.

He felt the leader's lips brush soft against his cheek and he felt like this life… this life was right where he was supposed to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue is up next!


	21. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my God! It's complete! My deep dark secret of an abandoned fic is complete! I don't have to feel guilty anymore!!
> 
> Thanks to [Skarlatha](http://archiveofourown.org/users/skarlatha/pseuds/skarlatha) for beta'ing and listening to me whine and worry over this fic literally for months before I finally put my nose to the grindstone and finished it!!

Rick was pouting. Daryl had been gone on a hunt for two days. He and Aaron had it planned that way because the game nearby were becoming scarce. They mapped out a location where they would hunt and stay the night so they could be in place at dawn for the best chance of bagging something good. 

They’d survived the Wolves. They’d survived some wall breaches. They’d survived it when the older lady next door died, turned and ended up losoe in the community. They’d lost two of the original Alexandrians that day. They’d grown too comfortable. But the Grimes family had survived.

Rick crawled out of bed, moping. Judith bunked with Carl now and he heard both kids downstairs along with the rest of the house- Maggie, Glenn, Michonne and some of the gang from next door. As soon as Rick’s foot hit the floor at the bottom of the stairs Michonne glared at him. “Oh no! No! Remember--I’m in charge of making sure you shower and you sure as shit don’t look like you’ve seen one in two days! Go! Back upstairs!” 

“This is stupid. This is all so stupid,” Rick sighed.

“Wait--Aren’t I supposed to be on shower duty?” Carl interrupted.

“Shit I think you’re right,” Michonne mumbled. “Get down here and eat something, Rick!”

“No,” Carl interrupted. “Go back and shower! He could be home anytime if they got something this morning!”

“Dddd!” Judith said reaching for him. Rick went into the room and picked her up. She was so close to turning letter sounds into words and Rick was frantic that she’d say something while Daryl was gone and he’d miss it. “Is your job to give me kisses, babygirl?” 

“Ddd.. Ddd” She said again and kissed his beard with her mouth open in an “o”. Before he could put her on the ground Abraham barged in. He quickly surveyed the room. 

“Wait. What’s happening? Do I need this?” he asked, pulling a note out of his pocket. Rick rolled his eyes. He’d already been handed it twice yesterday. Once when he was hovering around Daryl’s bike thinking about taking it for a spin so it would feel like Daryl was there. And another time when he started ranting at Maggie because she sat next to him at dinner and that was where Daryl usually sat. And just because he wasn’t there doesn’t mean the seating arrangement goes willy-nilly, damnit!

“I’m not doing anything stupid!” Rick whined, stomping into the kitchen for coffee.  
____________________________________________________

Daryl and Aaron rode back in a truck that had three, that’s right--three, full-sized bucks in the bed, surrounded by about a dozen squirrels. Their hunts were becoming more necessary as certain items were running low in Alexandria. The gardens were strong and chickens were laying eggs. But meat was always needed. Aaron had become a really good shot and a damn fine hunting partner. 

“Haven’t been away from Eric since, you know. Last year. Can’t wait to get home,” Aaron said.

“Yeah. You’re lucky though. You’ll probably get home and be able to jump right into bed. I’ve got the kids to deal with first.” Daryl said it like it was a burden, but he loved that these kids had become every bit as much his as they were Rick’s. And he loved the thought of coming home to a family that was missing him terribly. Judy was so close to talking. Carl has been learning to shoot the crossbow and it was probably only a few more months before Daryl will push Rick to let him come along on a hunt. 

But of course Rick was why Daryl’s knee was bouncing uncontrollably. Why he was getting butterflies at the thought of being in his arms again. Daryl unfolded his new note and pulled out his reading glasses. 

“Am I gonna have to pull over for another ‘bathroom break’?” Aaron asked, laughing. 

“Naw… It ain’t a jerk-off letter. It’s...” Daryl blushed. “‘S like a love letter, man.” How in the HELL had he become such a romantic? He put his reading glasses on.

Daryl- One night. That’s all you get. I don’t care if you come home empty-handed, I can’t bear the thought of laying in this bed any longer than I have to without you. If you aren’t back by nightfall tomorrow… I swear I’ll do something stupid like set fire to the armory in protest. And Abraham won’t be able to stop me! It was hard enough the last time when we’d just gotten together, but now I can barely find the wherewithal to breath without you near me. Can’t stand to think of going two days without locking eyes, reading in yours how much you love me and telling you with mine that I’m yours completely. Swimming in your eyes makes me feel like I’m truly alive for the first time ever. Even before the end of our old world. You are my true love. Not just in THIS life. In my whole life. Please stay safe and come home to me and our kids. We miss you. Love- Rick

Daryl sniffed.

“Is that letter making you CRY?” Aaron asked, exasperated. 

“Shut up, Aaron. I ain’t deaf. Heard you bawling last night when you thought I was sleeping!”

“Oh,” Aaron responded. “Well, shit.”

After they rolled into Alexandria, the team on the gates incredibly excited at the sight of fresh kills overflowing in the bed of the truck, they went their separate ways to reunite from nearly 36 hours away from family. 

On his way home Daryl passed the tree they buried Patrick under. That day they had carved the names of all their losses into it. Those lives all mattered. And the group of them that have survived this long, survived because of the blood they gave. Daryl ran a hand over the tree touching each of the names. Andrea. Dale. Tyreese. T-dog. The list was long. Way too long. But the extended family talked about them often. They would always be remembered.

Daryl heard their voices as he walked up the porch steps and a smile broke across his face. He’d never felt so home. He opened the door to the typical scene. Michonne and Carl playing cards and laughing. Abraham and Glenn talking about some history novel they’d both just read. Maggie yelling at Glenn to help her in the kitchen. Rosita chasing Judy as she walked unsteadily around the coffee table, with Rick watching and giggling at her, hair wet from a fresh shower that Carl probably had to convince him to take and a cup of coffee in his hand. 

“You know I don’t think ANY of you sons-of-bitches even noticed I was gone,” Daryl said light-heartedly. Everyone stopped, turned and shouted Daryl’s name or a “Welcome home” or a “Thank God!”. All except for Rick, who turned, locked his eyes, shoved his coffee into Glenn’s hand, walked over and pressed Daryl to the wall with a kiss that told of a very, very long 36 hours apart. 

The “welcome home” hoopla quickly turned to “Eww’s” from Carl and “Jesus guys, you are twenty footsteps from your damn room, take it upstairs” from Michonne. Abraham yelled over “I’m off duty now, so if he starts humping your leg, that’s your problem!” 

After soft lips and warm tongues and rough hands gentle on bare arms, Rick pulled away and looked deep into Daryl’s eyes. They didn’t need words like the others to express their happiness to see each other. They said more in a glance than they could have with twelve hours of conversation. Rick told him of the emptiness without him. The euphoria of his return. And Daryl’s look was of utter need, an absolute peace, and the complete rightness of his life.

Judy squeaked with excitement as she waddled past Rosita and Maggie. “Ddd!!! Dale!” she said clearly.

The air was sucked out of the room and everyone exchanged glances. Even those that didn’t know Dale, had heard stories around family meals. He'd been a voice of reason and a calm presence during the beginning of the apocalypse. And the group often wished he'd have made it to see how far they've come. He would have been proud.

“Close, Judy,” Carl said to break the silence. “It’s Daryl.”

“R’s can be hard,” Rosita said sympathetically. The few of them who’d vividly remembered Dale’s tragic end stayed silent. 

“Good job, Judy!” Michonne said, trying to encourage her speech. “Yes, that’s Daryl!” She emphasized the R.

Rick slowly grabbed at Daryl’s hand. He could remember it like it was yesterday standing over Dale with the Colt. Hesitating. Struggling. And Daryl rested a hand on his, lowered his gun and stepped in front of him to take care of the ugly business for him.

“Think that might be when I first realized I didn’t ever want be without you by my side,” Rick murmured as multiple people started talking again. Several different changes of conversation launching purposefully. 

“Think that’s when I realized I’d do anything for you,” Daryl whispered, then reached down for Judith.

In this life, like in any other, you don’t get to live forever. You get what you get. What you do with what you get is what makes all the difference. In a world where all modern conveniences are gone. Where making meals are a full family-affair again and not just a frozen box and a microwave. Where some days you literally have to fight for your life and some days you get to enjoy it unencumbered by the inconveniences of the time before. Where hard work is necessary, but rewarding. Where the people around you are more than just people around you. In this world you get to see what’s really important in life. And what makes it worth living.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The END! Hope you all liked it. I know there are probably only a few of you still reading but I'm super glad I was able to finish it for you. Apologies again for the delay! If you have a moment, I'd love to know what you thought!


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